Why Unassisted Pregnancy And Childbirth This Time Around?

Posted by January Harshe on May 28, 2009

(Editor’s note: This is a guest post by my husband Brandon Harshe. He blogs about Upper Cervical Chiropractic at The Atlas of Life.)

I know a lot of people read this blog and are intrigued by the idea of someone deciding to birth a baby without any outside help, be it an MD, midwife, doula, etc. I know it comes across as VERY unorthodox, even insane for someone to pass up regular, routine prenatal care.

Everything we do seems to be unorthodox and against the grain. We joined the Mormon church in 2003. We have never gotten our kids vaccinated. I chose chiropractic as a career, and more specifically, Upper Cervical Chiropractic. We have three kids and are expecting our fourth. We are planning an unassisted childbirth. Get the idea?

Why An Unassisted Childbirth?

January asked me to write this post so everyone could get an idea of what goes on from my end of all these crazy shenanigans. January did not make this decision on her own, and I would not expect her to. This has been a calculated decision on both our parts, and one we did not make lightly. Though I was more into the idea at first than she was.

Baby #1

With our oldest, we had the easiest birth experience. We lived in Tucson for almost all of it until right at the end when circumstances dictated that we had to move back up to Phoenix.

While in Tucson, we went to the birthing center for January’s regular checkups. During the course of her prenatal care, we had all the routine tests and screenings done. We had appointments with all three midwives at the birth center.

As January got closer and closer, the midwife at each appointment would palpate her belly and say “Yep. Head down.” Over and over we heard that, so obviously we thought everything was okay.

At 36 weeks, January had a second ultrasound and we found out that the baby was frank breech, meaning her head was up, as well as her feet. Needless to say, we were shocked.

Long story short, January and I moved back up to Phoenix and got under the care of a high risk OB/Gyn that she knew. He suggested we opt for the c-section, seeing as how our baby was breech and it might cause complications. We agreed, but not before putting together a birth plan (no silver nitrate in the eyes, no Hep B shot, etc.). He signed off on it and we had the c-section.

Altogether that was our least stressful experience. However, the nurses did not leave us alone at all. Neither of us could get more than an hour of sleep at a time. One particular nurse kept barging into the room and doing everything as loud as she could. That was exhausting and frustrating.

Baby #2

Once again, we went with a midwife with our second child. This time January went into active labor. We bought the birthing tub and everything else you can think of. We used it all, but none of it really helped. January was in labor for three days. I supported her as much as I could, sleeping only when she slept and encouraging her the rest of the time.

As time went on, and as January didn’t dilate past 2 cm, I started to grow concerned. My point of most concern was when the midwife asked me what I thought we should do. Now someone reading this might not think this is a big deal, but to me it was.

I was in my third week of tri 2 at Parker (basically still in the very beginning of the chiropractic program) and I didn’t know much about pregnancy, labor, and childbirth. I was so focused on supporting January that it wasn’t in my consciousness to know what to do. That’s why we paid over $3,000 to a midwife – so she would know what to do in this situation.

We ended up going to the hospital and found out that January had an infection. What kind? We don’t know… the doctor and nurses either didn’t bother finding out or didn’t tell us. Our doctor was some lady who looked and acted like she was strung out on three pots of coffee. I remember this doctor telling January she could never have a vaginal birth after this.

Again, January had another c-section. This time our baby had a 102 degree fever. The doctors and nurses kept him to monitor him until his vitals stabilized. I stayed with him the entire time, talking to him and stroking his little arms and shoulders. After an hour he was fine and I was able to bring him to January.

The whole time we were at the hospital, it was a constant fight for anything we wanted. They fought with us over taking our baby to do the tests. We had them done in the room. The pediatrician was rude to January.  I know I am probably forgetting some things, but you get the point.

Overall, this experience was very stressful.

On the day we were to leave, we had to wait for the doctor to check us out. That didn’t happen for three hours. When it did, the nurses told me I couldn’t carry my own baby to the car, that they had to do it and show me how to buckle his car seat. Literally, they told me that was the way it was and I didn’t have a choice. I told the nurse that we already had one child and I knew how to buckle a car seat. She shook her head. It did not matter.

At this point, I was so pissed that I carried baby #1 in one arm and baby #2 in his car seat in the other and told the nurse I was carrying him. I gave her a look that said “Just try and take my son and see what happens.”

From our room to the elevator, through the lobby, and out to the car took about five minutes. Now think about doing a sustained isometric contraction for five minutes holding a car seat at an awkward angle, arm slightly flexed the entire time. By the time I set baby #2 down in the car, my right arm was about ready to explode. I was so angry with this place and those nurses that nothing was going to get me to put my son down, including an exploding biceps muscle.

Baby#3

We went the midwife route once again for baby #3. Once again, it was a big mistake. We were in Arizona at the time, as this was when I took a leave from school.

Our midwife dropped us from care when January hadn’t gone into labor at 42 weeks. As it was, our midwife was seeing us ‘under the radar’. In Arizona, it is illegal for a midwife to attend a home birth for a woman that has had a c-section. She wanted January to do things to induce labor, but January wouldn’t. I think she was fearful of what would happen if something went wrong. I understand that. However, she probably should not have taken us on as clients in the first place.

So what did we do? We found a certified nurse midwife (CNM) that would take us that late. Because our home birth midwife had been “breaking the law” by caring for January, we couldn’t tell the CNM that we actually had prenatal care. We promised to protect our midwife and we held true to that promise. From the CNM’s standpoint, we probably came across as very irresponsible.

When she went through her protocol, though, she found out that January was actually very educated. Who knows what she thought then. According to her calculations (due to a late ultrasound), January was actually only 38 weeks.

One thing I will say about January: she knows her dates and when conception was, without a doubt. There was no way she was only 38 weeks.

When January went into labor, we were going to see if we could go the unassisted route,  although this was never our plan. January had really bad back labor the third time around. Again, I slept only when she slept and supported her the best I knew how. The unassisted thing didn’t work out for us then. It was a choice we made on the fly, not with weeks and weeks of mental preparation.

Eventually, we decided to go to the hospital. Again, the usual routine: fighting with the nurses and doctor about everything. It was different though. This hospital was in central Phoenix where these nurses and doctors were used to dealing with non-English speaking teenage mothers (this is according to one of our nurses). While January is not that, there was still the feeling that the nurses and doctors thought very little of us.

Eventually, January was able to start pushing. Remember the first two were c-sections, so this was her first real birth. Everything was going fine… until the CNM showed up.

As our baby was being pushed out, she reached in, grabbed the baby by the neck and pulled.  She then proceeded to reach in and severely tear January. Instead of letting everything happen naturally, she meddled and made things worse.

Over the course of the next couple days, they wanted to run every test under the sun, such as a GBS test, a blood sugar test (a diabetes screening test), etc. Baby #3 was born 5 lbs 9 oz at 43 weeks 6 days. Obviously, she was not diabetic. Not wanting a repeat of our experience with baby #2 , I belligerently refused all tests. January eventually caved in because she was so tired and didn’t want any problems.

Because of this, the CNM called social services on us for refusing all tests. When January informed them that we (she) had in fact agreed to all tests, and proved it, they left us alone. The CNM called them because she was tired of being bothered by other nurses coming to her, asking what they should do whenever we questioned (or initially refused) a test.

She came from the standpoint that we were uneducated and irresponsible. Those are the type of people she was used to seeing. Instead of investigating the situation, even just a little, she jumped to a conclusion about us.

I can truly say I have zero respect for that woman.

Baby #4

Needless to say, after four failed experiences with a midwife and three stressful experiences with a hospital, I did not want a repeat.

I know not all midwives are bad, just like not all chiropractors are bad, or lawyers, etc. With the combination of not finding many midwives that will take on a client that has had two c-sections, plus the fact that I personally don’t have enough faith in a midwife to pay one $3,000 or more, that route has not been an option for us this time.

Last fall, I went to a Lunch and Learn at school. The speaker was Dr. Jeannie Ohm. She is very instrumental in the success of the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association (ICPA). She and her husband had six kids, the first four being at home, unassisted and unhindered.

This really, really made an impression on me. What also made an impression on me was the fact that she was so young and naïve to all the external negative factors that “could happen” at childbirth with her first four. It really hit me that we have been making childbirth a complicated thing and we didn’t need to.

So I came home and told January that I thought we should have an unassisted pregnancy and childbirth. At first she was shocked and not open to it. Ironically, she brought this up to me when she was pregnant with Annabelle and I was shocked and not open to it then, until the very end when we were doing everything to avoid going to the hospital.

But as time went on, she eventually agreed and that decision has brought us here. Her health has been monitored the whole pregnancy. In the past, I remember the midwives coming over, checking January’s blood pressure, listening for the baby, and then chatting the rest of the time. I can do, and have done, all this without spending $3,000. We’ve made sure January has been under Upper Cervical Chiropractic care the entire time, so that she’s holding her adjustments and her body is staying balanced and aligned.

Overall, January and I are doing this because we both need a healing experience. Not just her, but me, too. Just once, I would like to actually enjoy and revel in the magnificence of my beautiful wife as she gives birth to our fourth child, free from the interference and fears of MDs, nurses, midwives, and doulas.

That is why we have chosen to go the unassisted route.

Why We Are Choosing To Have An Unassisted Pregnancy And Childbirth

Posted by January Harshe on May 18, 2009

Apparently this blog is reaching more and more people.  Word is getting out as to what we are up to.  That’s OK.  Actually better than OK!  I started this blog for me.  As a confidence booster.  I’m not the type that does well keeping things bottled up and worrying about what others think.  With each post, my confidence is magnified.  Also, I do not want to be quiet like a lot of UCer’s are (rightfully so).  I want to speak up and let others know that this is a choice.  I want people to know that women do have unassisted births and that it may not seem ‘normal’, but it actually is!

Everyone chooses the type of birth they want to have for different reasons.  This goes for an unassisted pregnancy and birth as well.  Even in the scope of UCer’s we all do it different.  Some couples choose to have care for their pregnancy, then have an unassisted birth.  Others, like myself, choose an unassisted pregnancy and birth.  I’m going to shed a little light on why my husband and I have made this choice for our current pregnancy and upcoming childbirth.

*This is me in labor for my last birth.  Having contractions in between pushing my other sweet children on the swing set in the backyard.

With my last few births, we hired midwives.  Without getting into long drawn out details of each situation, I will clump the experiences together a bit.  Basically, I do not feel we have ever chosen a care provider that has given us the care and support we felt we needed and deserved.

I am not anti-doctor or anti-midwife.  I am not here to say my way is the only way.  Basically, our journey has brought us here.  With my last experience, we were planning a VBA2C (vaginal birth after 2 cesareans).  We found a midwife who respected our wishes.  Unfortunately, when it came down to it she still had her own fears.  Those fears interfered with her giving us care, literally.  She “dropped me” at 42 weeks.

We had enjoyed a very hands of prenatal type of care with her.  When she dropped me, it put me in a bad situation.  I couldn’t just hire any midwife at this point.  There were liability issues involved (that’s a whole other post).  So, it was either an unassisted birth or go to a CNM that delivers at a hospital and lose my home birth.  I didn’t know what to do.  I was not mentally or physically prepared for an unassisted birth.  I knew about it as an option, but did not feel comfortable with it (which is why I hired a midwife!).

So, I saw the CNM.  I labored at home for 48 hours and without getting into a whole birth story, I went to the hospital when I knew I needed to.  I had my VBA2C, but the overall experience was disappointing.  My home birth and hospital midwife BOTH let their fears get in the way of giving me the support and care I needed.

Fast forward almost a year and we find out we are pregnant again.  What are we going to do this time?  I didn’t want to plan any birth, truth be told!  It was Brandon who decided.  He came home from a meeting at school.  It was given by a chiropractor who had 4 unassisted births and 2 midwife assisted births.  Brandon got in the car and said, “We are having an unassisted birth!”.  I replied with an “OK” as I tried to wrap my mind around it.  He was the rock in this decision.  How lucky am I to have such an awesome husband.  He has not looked back once!

The next question that came up was what about the pregnancy?  Do we hire a midwife or an OB for prenatal care ‘just in case’?  Do we tell them of our plans?  Do we lie and then not call for the birth and say ‘it went too fast’? Neither one of us was comfortable about lying, so that wasn’t an option.

Every time I thought about going to see someone for a prenatal appointment it turned my stomach and stressed me out.  It just did not feel right.  When I thought about having an unassisted pregnancy I had a feeling of peace overcome me.  We decided an unassisted pregnancy was right for us.  Heck, I’ve had 4 pregnancies in 5 years!  I’ve had all the tests, I know what to look for and I am very self educated.

I knew I had some work to do mentally if I was going to have an unassisted birth.  I started reading and reading and reading.  Books, websites, forums, you name it!  I worked through my fears.  I have to say it’s a relief not to have to worry about anyone else bringing their fears into my birth when I’ve worked so hard to get rid of mine!

I have read up on how to get a birth certificate for an unassisted birth, how to check the baby’s blood type (I am Rh-, so Rhogam is something I have to consider), how to clamp the cord, what to do in the case of a breech birth, shoulder dystocia, what do do in case of tearing, how much blood is normal and how much is too much and what to do in that situation, etc.  I am not going into this blind. I am also not going into this trying to be a midwife. I am preparing to give birth as a responsible, educated parent. I am actually probably taking more responsibility and educating myself on a higher level than I would if I had care with a doctor or midwife!  We are also taking a neonatal resuscitation class this week, which I am looking forward to. Brandon is with me on all of this, learning by my side.

That brings me to another reason I will share.  We want a healing, intimate birth.  We have a lot of birth trauma from our past two births.  Brandon and I have grown as a couple in ways we never would have by choosing to be on this journey together.  Having an unassisted pregnancy and planning and unassisted birth has brought us closer in amazing ways.  We are confident in each other, supportive and excited about this upcoming birth.  I know we will be closer than ever before after this little one joins us.

I also want to say this.  I don’t know if we are going to have more children. If we do, I can not say that I would chose an unassisted pregnancy and birth again.  This is what is right for us this time. However, we may be somewhere else on our journey and each pregnancy and birth is different.  Like I said, I am not anti-midwife.  I just haven’t found the right one for me.  If I had met a midwife that said, “Awesome!  I think UC’s are great.  I totally support that”, I would have hired her on the spot. I have yet to meet a midwife like that where we live.  I know they exist, I just do not live by one.  You see, if a midwife trusted birth and a mama enough to support unassisted birth, then I know she would truly support me, respect my wishes and not bring fears into my pregnancy and birth!

One last thing.  I don’t know how this is all going to turn out.  I am very in tune and extremely prayerful about it.  I will listen to any answers the Lord gives me, even if they are answers I don’t want to hear (learned that with my last baby).  I feel great about things and there are no worries at the moment.  Right now I am feeling anxious about getting things in order.  I don’t feel I will go post dates this time.  I am wanting to get all my supplies and CPR class done this week!  I am at peace about having an unassisted birth, but still think, “Wow, we are really doing this!”  I don’t consider myself brave or special. This is just where our journey has led us.

OK and for those of you who know me in real life.  If you are reading this I want you to know that it is OK to talk to me about my unassisted pregnancy and birth.  Really, I won’t bite your head off!  It’s not like it’s a big secret anymore.   If you have something positive to say, are just curious or even have a concern you want to talk to me about, I am open!

Braxton Hicks Contractions, Nesting and More

Posted by January Harshe on April 29, 2009

This post is not a rant or educational (or maybe it will be to someone).  It is just a post about a little of this and a little of that.

I am 34 weeks pregnant now and am FINALLY in the place I have been struggling to get to for the last…oh, 34 weeks! I feel wonderful about being pregnant, I am definitely more in tune, I am eating how I feel best and I am ready to birth this baby!

I am in a mode right now where I am ready to get everything prepared and ready for my birth and I want my house clean at ALL times.  Some may refer to this behavior as nesting.  It is bad though.  If there is any clutter or dirty dishes or toys out, I tell my husband, “I don’t want to live like white trash, I need this clean!”.  LOL.  Somehow I have equated a little mess with living like white trash.  Ya, I am hormonal.

We are going to be taking a CPR/Neonatal resuscitation class and ordering a few birth supplies soon.  Oh, and I am going to be getting maternity pictures this time.  I am very excited about that. I will of course share.

I am really feeling that I am going to have this baby between 38-40 weeks.  Now, if you know me, this is almost ridiculous.  Laughable, really. I had my last baby VBA2C at 43 weeks and 6 days and my 2nd baby at 42 weeks!  The main reason I am feeling I will not go so far post dates is because I am so mentally sound and ready to have this baby at home with just myself and my husband present.  I have let go of all fears. I have faith that this is going to be a beautiful, healing experience.

Now, on one hand I hesitate to make that claim.  I know mothers who say they thought they were going to have their baby “early” and then go ‘late’.  We all cook our babies different and each baby comes when he or she is ready.  So, in that sense there is no late or early.  This baby will come when he or she is in perfect health to meet us!  On the other hand, I can be very in tune, so we’ll see what happens!

About Braxton Hicks contractions.  Also referred to as practice contractions or false labor, etc.  They really are none of the above in my opinion.  I refer to them as “tightenings” and I LOVE them!  They let me know my uterus and body are exercising and getting ready to help assist my baby in coming earthside.  Also, they are mentally preparing me for birth.

I have been reading Hypnobirthing.  Brandon is now reading it as well.  I’ll have another post dedicated to this book.  But for now, I just want to say that I use my tightenings as an opportunity to relax.  I truly feel my last two labors were so long and painful ( 72 and 54 hours active labor) because of 2 reasons.  First is fear.  Second is tensing up and fighting my body in what it is trying to do best…birth a baby!  Contractions are associated with fear and pain in our country.  I had the hardest time just relaxing and letting go.

So, even when I get these practice tightenings, my first thought is pain.  Tense up January, oh that hurts.  Now that I know more and have let go of fears and misconceptions of what birth ’should be’, I just breathe through them and enjoy them.  Sometimes my whole belly gets tight.  Other times I feel it in my ligaments.  My body is awesome and it is working with my baby already!

I am curious to see if these tightenings turn into a more regular prodromal labor at some point.  I had this with my last baby for about a week.  That can be a little more tiring as they can be a tad bit more intense and regular.  I know many mamas who can experience this for weeks!  I hope that this time, if I am to experience prodromal labor, I can continue loving the process and letting go.

One other thing to mention.  There is one part of me I am looking forward to having back after I have this baby and that is my amazing patience.  This pregnancy and my last have been hard for me when it comes to being patient with my children.  I know it’s hard on them too, because they are used to a very laid back mommy.  I have very high expectations of what I should be like as a parent and it kills me when I do not feel I am living up to that.  So, that is the only thing that I am wishing were different.  I’ll take it though.  I have a beautiful family, a healthy pregnancy and a wonderful birth to look forward to!