January:

I DID IT! Had an UNASSISTED HOME BIRTH this morning!!!!!!! We had a sweet baby girl, who weighs in at about 9 lbs. I am in shock and thrilled. I’ll post the birth story on my blog soon! Thanks everyone for the amazing amount of support, love and prayers…I needed and appreciate them all!

Brandon:

FINALLY!!! January gave birth to a 9 lb baby girl at 4:50 am this morning… no MD, no midwife, no nurse, no doula, no hospital, no epidural, no pitocin, no fears, nothing!. All natural, no interference by anyone or anything. Amazing what happens when you trust in the innate intelligence of the human body. I am in awe…

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We are going away this weekend to see a very good friend of mine who I have not seen in nine years!  We talk daily (usually on Facebook…lol) and I miss her.  I can not wait to see her and her family.  I haven’t met her sweet two year old son yet and she can meet my children as well!

I don’t think many women would take a weekend trip at 42 weeks pregnant!  Why not though?  I don’t have to be close to an OB or a midwife.  No one is pressuring me to induce (natural remedies or not).  No one is ‘dropping me’ from care.  There isn’t anyone I am allowing to put fears into my mind about it.  So, we are packing up and heading out this afternoon! Brandon is totally up for it to.  Something other than chiropractic and birth!

So, I’ll pack a bag of birth supplies, let go of the birth even happening and enjoy my weekend with a beautiful friend! Ahhhh…the perks of an unassisted birth!  I am ecstatic, because this is so me…to do something spontaneous and crazy.  I hope you all have a great weekend as well! When I get back I’ll let you know about mini trip number two.

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In my dream we had a successful unassisted birth.  We were in our apartment and it was so clear.  It was just Brandon an myself.  The parts about the dream that had me excited were that we had a successful unassisted birth, we had a beautiful baby boy who I saw in detail and there was so much support and love from friends and family.  It was very exciting and encouraging!

After waking up and processing the dream further, I realized there was something off.  As I was birthing my baby (in the dream), I checked out.  At the moment the baby was making its presence into this world and during all the afterbirth, I was passed out in the dream.  Brandon had to take care of it all.  After the birth, when I came to, I had to ask Brandon the details of what happened, because I missed it all.  He told me how and when the placenta was birthed, how he cut and tied of the cord and etc.  I told him in my dream that even though that was not ideal, I was so happy he was there because I knew he did everything how I would want him to.  Then, I met my baby boy.  It was kind of cute because then we weighed him and he was 10 pounds!!!

Why would I not be present for that part of my birth in my dream?  After thinking through it, discussing it with my amazingly supportive husband and a really good cry, I realized it was because of the birth trauma from my last 2 births.  Birth trauma is real.  I don’t think most women (or our society for that matter) either know or recognize it.

With my last pregnancy and birth, I was strong and determined to have a vaginal birth after my previous two c-sections.  I labored at home for a very long time.  There were many factors as to why I went to the hospital.  I won’t get into that now.  The point is that my control was stripped from me.  Everything was a fight.  I was not ‘allowed’ to squat to birth like I wanted, I was threatened with a c-section, I was treated like I didn’t have any say in how I wanted to birth.

The CNM showed up during crowing and started meddling and interfering.  She pulled on my baby and helped me tear horribly.  The room turned into chaos.  There was no place for my husband in the process.  Yes, I birthed vaginally.  Yes, that was amazing.  However, it was masked by the nurses being rough with my baby, with being hooked up to pitocin after the birth without my permission, with the CNM pulling out my placenta and making me bleed out, not to mention the poking and prodding that then occurred for 2 days on my sweet baby.

This was all followed up by a visit from social services because as the CNM put it, “I was making her tired”.  Poor thing…she had educated patients that had an opinion and wanted to be informed.  The success of our VBA2C was stripped away.  I was left with serious birth trauma.  I was paranoid about the social services incident (which they of course walked out of the room thinking the whole thing was ridiculous after talking for a few minutes).  It left its mark.

With my second birth, my son was taken from me after the c-section.  Brandon had to finally put his foot down and tell the nursery nurses after hours that he was taking our baby to his mother! I kept waking up in my room alone and drugged and yelling out, “Where is my baby?!”  My son and I had attachment issues for weeks.  Through love, co-sleeping, baby wearing and time, luckily that is no longer an issue.

So, I can clearly see why after my birth in my dream I ‘check out’.  It’s always been very traumatic for me.  Brandon and I discussed all this in detail yesterday and he helped me to realize many things.  First of all, I did things perfect.  My body did things perfect.  Even through everything, I birthed my baby vaginally after 2 cesareans and on my back in a hospital!  It was all the outside interference that was the problem.  With this birth, there will be NO INTERFERENCE.  There won’t be anyone to tell me how how I can or can not do things.  No one to poke and prod.  No one to try and take control.

Also, I am not a victim and I need to stop being one.  Only I can make myself the victim.  I am the one that allows others to take control or hurt me.

Brandon also helped me remember that this is my past.  It is my thoughts keeping this alive in my present.  Those experiences are not happening now.  This is a different pregnancy and different birth and I have a say how this goes! I can not live in the future either.  There is only NOW!  My main fear that I had left to work through in this unassisted pregnancy was the fear that for some reason I would end up back at the hospital. That I would go through this abuse again.  Brandon asked me if I knew that could be true and I could only answer, “NO.”  There is no way to know that.  Why would I need to go to the hospital?  As of now, I don’t!  Right now, everything is perfect!

I am a perfect daughter of God.  It is Satan who wants me to believe otherwise…he wants me to fail.  I can choose to have faith, to know my body can birth perfectly with no interference.  I know that I am surrounded by all the love and support I need.  My birth trauma, while it is real, does not need to be part of this experience.  I am blessed to have this opportunity and a wonderful husband to share it with.

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Let’s start with the definition of a hypocrite according the the Webster Dictionary online:
1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings
— hypocrite adjective

For number one: I am who I am and what you see is what you get.  Also, my religious beliefs are pretty clear. I am LDS.

Let’s move on to number 2 then, shall we?  Let me state my beliefs.  Maybe I haven’t been clear enough in my blog posts.  I am going to state my beliefs on health care, since that is what has been attacked.

I believe that the allopathic model of medicine can and does save lives.  I believe that it is and only should be used for emergency care.  Further more, I believe there are other ways that we can take care of our bodies, prevent disease and live a healthy lifestyle.  I feel that these things will keep myself and my family from needing allopathic remedies most of (if not all of) the time.

I will give a little run down of the the main things I believe will help my family.  First and most important in my opinion is chiropractic care.  What I am referring to is the absence of any subluxations, especially at the atlas (C1).  I truly believe that without nerve interference our bodies can function in amazing ways.  I do believe that this needs to be as specific as possible.  You can read more about Upper Cervical Chiropractic at Brandon’s blog.

Other things I believe help more to heal the body than drugs and surgery are nutrition (hands down and this is probably a whole other post) and other natural remedies such as sleep, and using things such as aloe vera and colloidal silver.  For example, if my baby starts to show signs of a little diaper rash, I put on some olive oil and within 1 diaper change we are all cleared up! These things are not as easy as popping a pill.  They require responsibility, not looking outward, but inward and not being a victim.

If one of my children get sick, I actually get excited.  They rarely do, so when it does happen I think it’s great that their body is having a chance to build its natural immunities!  Our oldest used to get ear infections when swimming.  She’d get them often and sometimes in both ears.  Every single time, she needed her atlas adjusted and every single time after the adjustment and a little rest the infections cleared up within hours (at least the painful symptoms). The only other things we have used to help fight ear infections are blessings/prayer when really bad and some garlic oil. We never freaked out and ran to a doctor to get antibiotics.  We let her body do what it does best.  We removed interference and let it do it’s job.

Now, if I was a hypocrite, I’d be talking about all of my opinions on health care and then running to an MD or hospital the minute we get sick, right?  I don’t.  I practice what I preach.  Always.  I don’t tell others what to do.  I don’t force my views on other moms and dads.  My biggest issue is about being self educated and making decisions that is best for you (and your family’s) health.  Not freaking out, getting scared and making decisions based on fear or because someone else told you that you have to do it their way or else (fill in the blank).

How does this apply to birth?  Am I a hypocrite because I have stated that if something does go terribly wrong (which it won’t) that I will go to the hospital?  I thought I have made it clear that I am practicing what I preach.  I do not believe birth is a disease.  I believe it is normal and beautiful.  I believe God created my body to birth a baby perfectly.  I know that I can have a safe birth at home without intervention and giving up control to someone I barely know.  I believe that hospitals are for EMERGENCIES.

So, if I believe that, then wouldn’t I only go in the case of an emergency?  Is that me being a hypocrite?  If I have so clearly stated that the allopathic model of medicine and hospitals can save lives and is for emergencies only and if I only use it for those rare cases, then I am no hypocrite.  I am strong in my beliefs and doing what I say I believe in.  Period.

I have practiced the type of health for my children that I have stated.  None of them have ever had an antibiotic, none of them have ever had over the counter medicine (with the exception of infant tylenol with my first a few times).  My youngest 2 have never needed to see a pediatrician.  Their primary care provider has and always will be a chiropractor. If an emergency came up, I would take them to see someone my husband and I feel we may need help from.

Someone accused me of teaching my kids “this garbage!”  I laugh at that.  My kids have no interference in their bodies.  They are healthy and happy.  They don’t have side effects from medications, they don’t get whatever ‘bug’ is going around at the time.  It’s phenomenal.  They are blessed to have informed parents who take the time to care for them the way we do! My husband had to explain to our 5 year old what diarrhea was for goodness sakes.  She had no clue.  None of our children have had it.  When one of them has ever had to throw up or they have a little fever, they think, “Hey, that is great!  Our bodies are doing what they need to.”  What an amazing mindset to grow up with!

I love my children dearly.  I want what is best for them just like every other mom.  For me, that is taking the time to educate myself on what is best for their bodies.  It is me  being responsible for their health.  It is us staying away from shots and drugs and trusting that God make their little bodies perfect, especially when there is no interference.  Also, it is recognizing that we are blessed to live in a country with great emergency care in the case of an emergency only!

Yep, that is where I stand and that is me practicing what I preach.

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• Working Through Birth Trauma Via A Dream
• Yep, Still Pregnant and Why Due Dates Are a Lie!!!
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The only thing that is tiring is I am having a lot of warm up stuff and nothing ‘active’ yet.  That gets old.  But, I am grateful for it.  I know my body is getting ready for a great birth!

So, because I am tired and very pregnant, I am going to direct you to read about why due dates are a lie here! (thanks Jen B.) It’s a short article that explains how the ‘due date’ came about and why it is so not accurate!  Enjoy!

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(Editor’s note: This is a guest post by my husband Brandon Harshe. He blogs about Upper Cervical Chiropractic at The Atlas of Life.)

I know a lot of people read this blog and are intrigued by the idea of someone deciding to birth a baby without any outside help, be it an MD, midwife, doula, etc. I know it comes across as VERY unorthodox, even insane for someone to pass up regular, routine prenatal care.

Everything we do seems to be unorthodox and against the grain. We joined the Mormon church in 2003. We have never gotten our kids vaccinated. I chose chiropractic as a career, and more specifically, Upper Cervical Chiropractic. We have three kids and are expecting our fourth. We are planning an unassisted childbirth. Get the idea?

Why An Unassisted Childbirth?

January asked me to write this post so everyone could get an idea of what goes on from my end of all these crazy shenanigans. January did not make this decision on her own, and I would not expect her to. This has been a calculated decision on both our parts, and one we did not make lightly. Though I was more into the idea at first than she was.

Baby #1

With our oldest, we had the easiest birth experience. We lived in Tucson for almost all of it until right at the end when circumstances dictated that we had to move back up to Phoenix.

While in Tucson, we went to the birthing center for January’s regular checkups. During the course of her prenatal care, we had all the routine tests and screenings done. We had appointments with all three midwives at the birth center.

As January got closer and closer, the midwife at each appointment would palpate her belly and say “Yep. Head down.” Over and over we heard that, so obviously we thought everything was okay.

At 36 weeks, January had a second ultrasound and we found out that the baby was frank breech, meaning her head was up, as well as her feet. Needless to say, we were shocked.

Long story short, January and I moved back up to Phoenix and got under the care of a high risk OB/Gyn that she knew. He suggested we opt for the c-section, seeing as how our baby was breech and it might cause complications. We agreed, but not before putting together a birth plan (no silver nitrate in the eyes, no Hep B shot, etc.). He signed off on it and we had the c-section.

Altogether that was our least stressful experience. However, the nurses did not leave us alone at all. Neither of us could get more than an hour of sleep at a time. One particular nurse kept barging into the room and doing everything as loud as she could. That was exhausting and frustrating.

Baby #2

Once again, we went with a midwife with our second child. This time January went into active labor. We bought the birthing tub and everything else you can think of. We used it all, but none of it really helped. January was in labor for three days. I supported her as much as I could, sleeping only when she slept and encouraging her the rest of the time.

As time went on, and as January didn’t dilate past 2 cm, I started to grow concerned. My point of most concern was when the midwife asked me what I thought we should do. Now someone reading this might not think this is a big deal, but to me it was.

I was in my third week of tri 2 at Parker (basically still in the very beginning of the chiropractic program) and I didn’t know much about pregnancy, labor, and childbirth. I was so focused on supporting January that it wasn’t in my consciousness to know what to do. That’s why we paid over $3,000 to a midwife – so she would know what to do in this situation.

We ended up going to the hospital and found out that January had an infection. What kind? We don’t know… the doctor and nurses either didn’t bother finding out or didn’t tell us. Our doctor was some lady who looked and acted like she was strung out on three pots of coffee. I remember this doctor telling January she could never have a vaginal birth after this.

Again, January had another c-section. This time our baby had a 102 degree fever. The doctors and nurses kept him to monitor him until his vitals stabilized. I stayed with him the entire time, talking to him and stroking his little arms and shoulders. After an hour he was fine and I was able to bring him to January.

The whole time we were at the hospital, it was a constant fight for anything we wanted. They fought with us over taking our baby to do the tests. We had them done in the room. The pediatrician was rude to January.  I know I am probably forgetting some things, but you get the point.

Overall, this experience was very stressful.

On the day we were to leave, we had to wait for the doctor to check us out. That didn’t happen for three hours. When it did, the nurses told me I couldn’t carry my own baby to the car, that they had to do it and show me how to buckle his car seat. Literally, they told me that was the way it was and I didn’t have a choice. I told the nurse that we already had one child and I knew how to buckle a car seat. She shook her head. It did not matter.

At this point, I was so pissed that I carried baby #1 in one arm and baby #2 in his car seat in the other and told the nurse I was carrying him. I gave her a look that said “Just try and take my son and see what happens.”

From our room to the elevator, through the lobby, and out to the car took about five minutes. Now think about doing a sustained isometric contraction for five minutes holding a car seat at an awkward angle, arm slightly flexed the entire time. By the time I set baby #2 down in the car, my right arm was about ready to explode. I was so angry with this place and those nurses that nothing was going to get me to put my son down, including an exploding biceps muscle.

Baby#3

We went the midwife route once again for baby #3. Once again, it was a big mistake. We were in Arizona at the time, as this was when I took a leave from school.

Our midwife dropped us from care when January hadn’t gone into labor at 42 weeks. As it was, our midwife was seeing us ‘under the radar’. In Arizona, it is illegal for a midwife to attend a home birth for a woman that has had a c-section. She wanted January to do things to induce labor, but January wouldn’t. I think she was fearful of what would happen if something went wrong. I understand that. However, she probably should not have taken us on as clients in the first place.

So what did we do? We found a certified nurse midwife (CNM) that would take us that late. Because our home birth midwife had been “breaking the law” by caring for January, we couldn’t tell the CNM that we actually had prenatal care. We promised to protect our midwife and we held true to that promise. From the CNM’s standpoint, we probably came across as very irresponsible.

When she went through her protocol, though, she found out that January was actually very educated. Who knows what she thought then. According to her calculations (due to a late ultrasound), January was actually only 38 weeks.

One thing I will say about January: she knows her dates and when conception was, without a doubt. There was no way she was only 38 weeks.

When January went into labor, we were going to see if we could go the unassisted route,  although this was never our plan. January had really bad back labor the third time around. Again, I slept only when she slept and supported her the best I knew how. The unassisted thing didn’t work out for us then. It was a choice we made on the fly, not with weeks and weeks of mental preparation.

Eventually, we decided to go to the hospital. Again, the usual routine: fighting with the nurses and doctor about everything. It was different though. This hospital was in central Phoenix where these nurses and doctors were used to dealing with non-English speaking teenage mothers (this is according to one of our nurses). While January is not that, there was still the feeling that the nurses and doctors thought very little of us.

Eventually, January was able to start pushing. Remember the first two were c-sections, so this was her first real birth. Everything was going fine… until the CNM showed up.

As our baby was being pushed out, she reached in, grabbed the baby by the neck and pulled.  She then proceeded to reach in and severely tear January. Instead of letting everything happen naturally, she meddled and made things worse.

Over the course of the next couple days, they wanted to run every test under the sun, such as a GBS test, a blood sugar test (a diabetes screening test), etc. Baby #3 was born 5 lbs 9 oz at 43 weeks 6 days. Obviously, she was not diabetic. Not wanting a repeat of our experience with baby #2 , I belligerently refused all tests. January eventually caved in because she was so tired and didn’t want any problems.

Because of this, the CNM called social services on us for refusing all tests. When January informed them that we (she) had in fact agreed to all tests, and proved it, they left us alone. The CNM called them because she was tired of being bothered by other nurses coming to her, asking what they should do whenever we questioned (or initially refused) a test.

She came from the standpoint that we were uneducated and irresponsible. Those are the type of people she was used to seeing. Instead of investigating the situation, even just a little, she jumped to a conclusion about us.

I can truly say I have zero respect for that woman.

Baby #4

Needless to say, after four failed experiences with a midwife and three stressful experiences with a hospital, I did not want a repeat.

I know not all midwives are bad, just like not all chiropractors are bad, or lawyers, etc. With the combination of not finding many midwives that will take on a client that has had two c-sections, plus the fact that I personally don’t have enough faith in a midwife to pay one $3,000 or more, that route has not been an option for us this time.

Last fall, I went to a Lunch and Learn at school. The speaker was Dr. Jeannie Ohm. She is very instrumental in the success of the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association (ICPA). She and her husband had six kids, the first four being at home, unassisted and unhindered.

This really, really made an impression on me. What also made an impression on me was the fact that she was so young and naïve to all the external negative factors that “could happen” at childbirth with her first four. It really hit me that we have been making childbirth a complicated thing and we didn’t need to.

So I came home and told January that I thought we should have an unassisted pregnancy and childbirth. At first she was shocked and not open to it. Ironically, she brought this up to me when she was pregnant with Annabelle and I was shocked and not open to it then, until the very end when we were doing everything to avoid going to the hospital.

But as time went on, she eventually agreed and that decision has brought us here. Her health has been monitored the whole pregnancy. In the past, I remember the midwives coming over, checking January’s blood pressure, listening for the baby, and then chatting the rest of the time. I can do, and have done, all this without spending $3,000. We’ve made sure January has been under Upper Cervical Chiropractic care the entire time, so that she’s holding her adjustments and her body is staying balanced and aligned.

Overall, January and I are doing this because we both need a healing experience. Not just her, but me, too. Just once, I would like to actually enjoy and revel in the magnificence of my beautiful wife as she gives birth to our fourth child, free from the interference and fears of MDs, nurses, midwives, and doulas.

That is why we have chosen to go the unassisted route.

Related Articles

• Why We Are Choosing To Have An Unassisted Pregnancy And Childbirth
• Perks Of An Unassisted Pregnancy And Birth
• Fear Mongering of Natural Birth
• My Body and Mind Prepare for an Unassisted Birth
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Week 36 consisted of serious nesting, reorganizing, cleaning, and getting ready.

Week 37 included a panic attack, up and down emotions,and feeling that the birth is so close.  I also experienced the baby moving down last Thursday.  I had a lot of tightenings along with pressure in my things.  My shape has changed a little. I still want everything in order too. Messes are driving me nuts.

Physically, I’ve been wanting to drink and eat more and I’ve had  loose bowel movements and urinating often (too much info, I know). I had a  dream about losing mucous plug on the morning of Thursday May 21st and in the evening lost a little, but not enough to get too excited about.

38 weeks is well, now.  It’s been an interesting few days.  I am not doing well in groups of people.  I pick up on others’ energy  easy and it’s too intense for me right now.  I am good one on one and that’s it.  I have had a lot of tightenings, have felt the baby moving down a little more and a ton of pressure in my upper inner thighs.  Today specifically has  been the most intense and very tiring!  I felt like I haven’t had a choice but to sit and rest.

I am focusing on how I’ve wanted a nice and easy labor (be careful what you wish for…lol).  That seems to be what I’m getting.  I am having a lot of warm up for birth going on.  It’s not painful or anything, but it is getting harder to concentrate and take care of my daily things.  When I start to wonder how much longer this may last, I remember to focus on NOW, because really that’s all there is to do.  Worrying about the future does no good.

It is exciting to think that one day or evening soon, this is going to kick into an active labor and my husband and I are going to be meeting our new baby.  That just the two of us will be there to welcome our sweetheart.  There won’t be any unnecessary interventions or other people’s fears meddling in our birth.  There won’t be anyone to poke, prod and scare.  It will be peaceful and healing!  Now, that is something to look forward to!

Sorry if this post seems to the point and not too involved.  I am really having a hard time concentrating!

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Everyone chooses the type of birth they want to have for different reasons.  This goes for an unassisted pregnancy and birth as well.  Even in the scope of UCer’s we all do it different.  Some couples choose to have care for their pregnancy, then have an unassisted birth.  Others, like myself, choose an unassisted pregnancy and birth.  I’m going to shed a little light on why my husband and I have made this choice for our current pregnancy and upcoming childbirth.

*This is me in labor for my last birth.  Having contractions in between pushing my other sweet children on the swing set in the backyard.

With my last few births, we hired midwives.  Without getting into long drawn out details of each situation, I will clump the experiences together a bit.  Basically, I do not feel we have ever chosen a care provider that has given us the care and support we felt we needed and deserved.

I am not anti-doctor or anti-midwife.  I am not here to say my way is the only way.  Basically, our journey has brought us here.  With my last experience, we were planning a VBA2C (vaginal birth after 2 cesareans).  We found a midwife who respected our wishes.  Unfortunately, when it came down to it she still had her own fears.  Those fears interfered with her giving us care, literally.  She “dropped me” at 42 weeks.

We had enjoyed a very hands of prenatal type of care with her.  When she dropped me, it put me in a bad situation.  I couldn’t just hire any midwife at this point.  There were liability issues involved (that’s a whole other post).  So, it was either an unassisted birth or go to a CNM that delivers at a hospital and lose my home birth.  I didn’t know what to do.  I was not mentally or physically prepared for an unassisted birth.  I knew about it as an option, but did not feel comfortable with it (which is why I hired a midwife!).

So, I saw the CNM.  I labored at home for 48 hours and without getting into a whole birth story, I went to the hospital when I knew I needed to.  I had my VBA2C, but the overall experience was disappointing.  My home birth and hospital midwife BOTH let their fears get in the way of giving me the support and care I needed.

Fast forward almost a year and we find out we are pregnant again.  What are we going to do this time?  I didn’t want to plan any birth, truth be told!  It was Brandon who decided.  He came home from a meeting at school.  It was given by a chiropractor who had 4 unassisted births and 2 midwife assisted births.  Brandon got in the car and said, “We are having an unassisted birth!”.  I replied with an “OK” as I tried to wrap my mind around it.  He was the rock in this decision.  How lucky am I to have such an awesome husband.  He has not looked back once!

The next question that came up was what about the pregnancy?  Do we hire a midwife or an OB for prenatal care ‘just in case’?  Do we tell them of our plans?  Do we lie and then not call for the birth and say ‘it went too fast’? Neither one of us was comfortable about lying, so that wasn’t an option.

Every time I thought about going to see someone for a prenatal appointment it turned my stomach and stressed me out.  It just did not feel right.  When I thought about having an unassisted pregnancy I had a feeling of peace overcome me.  We decided an unassisted pregnancy was right for us.  Heck, I’ve had 4 pregnancies in 5 years!  I’ve had all the tests, I know what to look for and I am very self educated.

I knew I had some work to do mentally if I was going to have an unassisted birth.  I started reading and reading and reading.  Books, websites, forums, you name it!  I worked through my fears.  I have to say it’s a relief not to have to worry about anyone else bringing their fears into my birth when I’ve worked so hard to get rid of mine!

I have read up on how to get a birth certificate for an unassisted birth, how to check the baby’s blood type (I am Rh-, so Rhogam is something I have to consider), how to clamp the cord, what to do in the case of a breech birth, shoulder dystocia, what do do in case of tearing, how much blood is normal and how much is too much and what to do in that situation, etc.  I am not going into this blind. I am also not going into this trying to be a midwife. I am preparing to give birth as a responsible, educated parent. I am actually probably taking more responsibility and educating myself on a higher level than I would if I had care with a doctor or midwife!  We are also taking a neonatal resuscitation class this week, which I am looking forward to. Brandon is with me on all of this, learning by my side.

That brings me to another reason I will share.  We want a healing, intimate birth.  We have a lot of birth trauma from our past two births.  Brandon and I have grown as a couple in ways we never would have by choosing to be on this journey together.  Having an unassisted pregnancy and planning and unassisted birth has brought us closer in amazing ways.  We are confident in each other, supportive and excited about this upcoming birth.  I know we will be closer than ever before after this little one joins us.

I also want to say this.  I don’t know if we are going to have more children. If we do, I can not say that I would chose an unassisted pregnancy and birth again.  This is what is right for us this time. However, we may be somewhere else on our journey and each pregnancy and birth is different.  Like I said, I am not anti-midwife.  I just haven’t found the right one for me.  If I had met a midwife that said, “Awesome!  I think UC’s are great.  I totally support that”, I would have hired her on the spot. I have yet to meet a midwife like that where we live.  I know they exist, I just do not live by one.  You see, if a midwife trusted birth and a mama enough to support unassisted birth, then I know she would truly support me, respect my wishes and not bring fears into my pregnancy and birth!

One last thing.  I don’t know how this is all going to turn out.  I am very in tune and extremely prayerful about it.  I will listen to any answers the Lord gives me, even if they are answers I don’t want to hear (learned that with my last baby).  I feel great about things and there are no worries at the moment.  Right now I am feeling anxious about getting things in order.  I don’t feel I will go post dates this time.  I am wanting to get all my supplies and CPR class done this week!  I am at peace about having an unassisted birth, but still think, “Wow, we are really doing this!”  I don’t consider myself brave or special. This is just where our journey has led us.

OK and for those of you who know me in real life.  If you are reading this I want you to know that it is OK to talk to me about my unassisted pregnancy and birth.  Really, I won’t bite your head off!  It’s not like it’s a big secret anymore.   If you have something positive to say, are just curious or even have a concern you want to talk to me about, I am open!

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Just a quick post about comments.  Leave them!

OK, I’ll say a little more.  If you are reading this, leave a comment and let me know.  People (me) love comments on their websites and blogs.  It’s fun to know who’s reading and it is interesting to read your thoughts.

If you like what I’m up to, let me know.  I am getting so close to having this baby.  Any positive feedback and comments will be awesome!

If you think I’m nuts, that’s OK too.  Say a little prayer that all goes well and according to the Lord’s will.

This is an exciting time for us and I love sharing my thoughts and experiences as I go through this amazing journey called Unassisted Pregnancy and Birth!

So go now…down there at the bottom of this post…and leave a comment.  Then do it again on other posts, and again and……..

*Kinda interesing… I wrote this 2 days ago.  Then yesterday people starting leaving more comments!  Keep it up. I am feeling the love.

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In all seriousness though, I have moved furniture, thrown out bags of papers and junk, bought tons of bins and am making everything look neat, tidy and as chic as possible (on a student budget, with 3 small children in a 900 sq ft. apartment).

I had a friend over today and we gabbed while she helped me organize the clutter all over what used to be my dining room floor. I also tried to relieve some of her fears concerning my unassisted pregnancy, but don’t think I succeeded.  That’s OK, like I told her, they are her fears and not mine. (Love you Becky!)

I cuddled on my kids, but by late this afternoon wanted a break.  It was a “no go” as my hubby fell asleep on the couch (darn those Part IV National Boards).  So, I loaded up the kids and went to Target for more bins.  I felt I was going to go crazy if I didn’t buy them today so I can finish organizing.

This evening I started having some mad cravings for Lebanese food.  My family is Lebanese (OK, my great grandfather came over on the boat, so I have some Lebanese mixed with who knows what else).  I LOVE Lebanese food though.  My mom made it for the holidays when I was growing up and my grandmother pays a Lebanese woman to cook it for the holidays now. I don’t have access to that, so Whole Foods had to work.

I went to Whole Foods all. by. myself.  It was wicked!  I don’t get out enough! I went straight for the dolmas and started eating them right away (hey, they are already weighed and priced).  I grazed through the store, after grabbing 5 containers of dolmas, for other food as well.  I bought some of the yummiest food. Here is a plate of my (second rate, but worth it) Lebanese food.  Dolmas (stuffed grape leaves), hummus, yogurt, pita and an olive tepenade!

I just had that ‘glow’ about me tonight.  It felt refreshing to get out, take care of ME and buy food I was craving.  I was giving off great energy and receiving it in return.  One lady walked by me and said, “You look beautiful!”  It was touching.  I was waddling around, proudly sticking my belly out and enjoying each moment!

I will leave you pregnancy and birth junkies with a 36 and 1/2 week belly pic.  Yes, I am huge and no there are not twins in there!  You can also see the mid stages of my organizing in the background!

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When I became pregnant I was in a selfish mode mentally and physically. I was going back to school to live my dream and be a chiropractor and I was still losing weight from my last pregnancy.  I seem to have an issue embracing what is given to me sometimes, whether it be homeschooling my children or a precious new life growing in my womb.  These are blessings of course, but in my limitations as a human, I can forget this.  Reconnecting with God and MY spirit reminds me that I am incredibly blessed!

This all leads me to the roller coaster I have put myself on the last 9 months or so.  I am now 36 weeks pregnant and not in the pristine health I would want.  I have no one to blame but myself of course, but that does not make things better.  I blame myself too much for things!

Two nights ago I was finally relaxing on the couch and noticed how swollen my ankles were.  I have not had swollen ankles in my last three pregnancies, but I do often this time.   As I was thinking about the puffiness of my feet and ankles, I noticed my feet were splotchy as well.  Then that led me up my legs and the wonderful varicose veins I have popping out as well.  All of this along with how tired, weak and impatient I tend to feel about did me in!

I am not supposed to feel this way!  Do not get me wrong.  This pregnancy has been great physically in a lot of ways and overall I feel great. That does not mean I feel at my optimal health though.  I mentioned this on Facebook the other day and someone teased me by saying I should find a good chiropractor!  Well, that is the one thing I do have right!  There are a few more I want to grasp too.

You can not make others change.  Period.  They have to hit the point where staying the same hurts more than changing.  As I sat with my legs reclined the other night, I realized it is hurting more to keep my bad physical and mental habits than it would be to change them! I have been in a very healthy state before and due to a whirlwind of life circumstances (ask my hubby), I lost the importance of taking care of myself.  No more!

I went to Whole Foods and Sprouts yesterday.  Oh the joy! I restocked on my New Chapter PreNatal vitamins. I also bought a good Magnesium Supplement via the advice of my friend Henny.  It may help with my weakness and mood.  When Brandon and I checked my prenatals, we realized it was very low in Magnesium.  This probably would have helped me months ago! We looked at the probiotics as well and decided to buy a case of  G.T.’s Synergy Kombucha instead because it is full of probiotics among other amazing properties.  The last thing on my list was Cod Liver oil.  We used to take this everyday until it started grossing me out.  It is being added back in.

As far as nutrition goes, that is getting a makeover as well.  I added green smoothies back in this week.  Yesterday we stocked up on fresh, vibrant fruits and vegetables and treats such as raw cheese, organic dressings and organic dark chocolate.  I have to say, I love looking at my fridge right now!

Now, I wish I had made myself more of a priority much sooner, but I have to let the thought go at that.  I can not beat myself up over what I should of done, but instead feel good about what I am doing now!

I recently read Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s Eat to Health (I prefer his book Eat to Live) and have read other articles on this same subject.  He was talking about ’super seniors’ or centenarians in other cultures.  They all have the same things in common:

• They consume the majority of calories from fresh produce.
• They have an optimistic outlook on life.
• They maintain a social circle of friends.
• They stay physically active.

I am already taking steps to change the first one.  A plant based diet is what I am embracing. I plan to eat as many fresh fruits and vegetables as possible, make healthy meals and if I want a treat eating something like organic dark chocolate instead of processed ice cream or chocolate chip cookies (although they are yummy).

An optimistic outlook on life.  I think this is the one I need to work on the most.  I have been: beating myself up over everything,  having a hard time making decisions, not thinking or doing good things for myself and stressing too much.  I am now going to focus on doing things that are good for my physical and mental health by making myself more of a priority instead of last in my family.  I am going to focus on my good qualities.  I am going to have Faith in the Lord that things will work out instead of stressing and worrying too much (I have actually been doing this already and it is awesome!).

I have been making some good friends that are healthy friendships.  Women who love and support me for who I am even if we do not agree on everything.  I used to choose friends who were self destructive and judgmental.  How is that going to be a positive thing in my life?  It’s actually detrimental for me!  Also, the most important person to have a healthy relationship is my husband.  We have been making us a priority and it has been great.

With the other changes I am making, I know I will have the energy to be more active once again.  I used to walk miles a day and now I have been sedentary!  The nutrition and physical activity obviously go hand in hand!

I did not post for almost 2 weeks and now I cannot stop writing! There is a lot to ponder when a mama is pregnant and getting ready to birth a baby, but I think even more so when she is taking all the responsibility by enjoying an unassisted pregnancy and preparing for an unassisted birth. I am enjoying the changes I am already making and looking forward to the better physical and mental well being I will have through these postive changes.

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• A Friend’s Unassisted Birth

I will post soon.  In the meantime, read about Henny and Sean’s Unassisted Birth here. Their son joined them earthised a week ago! This is Sean’s perspective of their experience.  They are awesome!

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• My Health at the End of My Unassisted Pregnancy

I am 34 weeks pregnant now and am FINALLY in the place I have been struggling to get to for the last…oh, 34 weeks! I feel wonderful about being pregnant, I am definitely more in tune, I am eating how I feel best and I am ready to birth this baby!

I am in a mode right now where I am ready to get everything prepared and ready for my birth and I want my house clean at ALL times.  Some may refer to this behavior as nesting.  It is bad though.  If there is any clutter or dirty dishes or toys out, I tell my husband, “I don’t want to live like white trash, I need this clean!”.  LOL.  Somehow I have equated a little mess with living like white trash.  Ya, I am hormonal.

We are going to be taking a CPR/Neonatal resuscitation class and ordering a few birth supplies soon.  Oh, and I am going to be getting maternity pictures this time.  I am very excited about that. I will of course share.

I am really feeling that I am going to have this baby between 38-40 weeks.  Now, if you know me, this is almost ridiculous.  Laughable, really. I had my last baby VBA2C at 43 weeks and 6 days and my 2nd baby at 42 weeks!  The main reason I am feeling I will not go so far post dates is because I am so mentally sound and ready to have this baby at home with just myself and my husband present.  I have let go of all fears. I have faith that this is going to be a beautiful, healing experience.

Now, on one hand I hesitate to make that claim.  I know mothers who say they thought they were going to have their baby “early” and then go ‘late’.  We all cook our babies different and each baby comes when he or she is ready.  So, in that sense there is no late or early.  This baby will come when he or she is in perfect health to meet us!  On the other hand, I can be very in tune, so we’ll see what happens!

About Braxton Hicks contractions.  Also referred to as practice contractions or false labor, etc.  They really are none of the above in my opinion.  I refer to them as “tightenings” and I LOVE them!  They let me know my uterus and body are exercising and getting ready to help assist my baby in coming earthside.  Also, they are mentally preparing me for birth.

I have been reading Hypnobirthing.  Brandon is now reading it as well.  I’ll have another post dedicated to this book.  But for now, I just want to say that I use my tightenings as an opportunity to relax.  I truly feel my last two labors were so long and painful ( 72 and 54 hours active labor) because of 2 reasons.  First is fear.  Second is tensing up and fighting my body in what it is trying to do best…birth a baby!  Contractions are associated with fear and pain in our country.  I had the hardest time just relaxing and letting go.

So, even when I get these practice tightenings, my first thought is pain.  Tense up January, oh that hurts.  Now that I know more and have let go of fears and misconceptions of what birth ’should be’, I just breathe through them and enjoy them.  Sometimes my whole belly gets tight.  Other times I feel it in my ligaments.  My body is awesome and it is working with my baby already!

I am curious to see if these tightenings turn into a more regular prodromal labor at some point.  I had this with my last baby for about a week.  That can be a little more tiring as they can be a tad bit more intense and regular.  I know many mamas who can experience this for weeks!  I hope that this time, if I am to experience prodromal labor, I can continue loving the process and letting go.

One other thing to mention.  There is one part of me I am looking forward to having back after I have this baby and that is my amazing patience.  This pregnancy and my last have been hard for me when it comes to being patient with my children.  I know it’s hard on them too, because they are used to a very laid back mommy.  I have very high expectations of what I should be like as a parent and it kills me when I do not feel I am living up to that.  So, that is the only thing that I am wishing were different.  I’ll take it though.  I have a beautiful family, a healthy pregnancy and a wonderful birth to look forward to!

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OK, I have calmed down.  A little.  Today, my emotional fire about birth began with an email.  I emailed a doula friend of mine and asked her if she would be willing to support a mama who wanted an unassisted childbirth.  This doula is awesome!  She truly trusts birth and honoring the choices of the pregnant/birthing mother.

Her reply informed me that she could not due to personal things going on in her life and that she did not know of anyone to recommend to support this mama.  Apparently everyone is ‘jumpy’ as she put it.  The state they are in is cracking down on midwives and doulas who ‘honor women’s birthing choices’.

WHAT?!  Since when does the goverment get to tell a woman how to birth and tell other women that they can not support the birthing mama?!  So, here is a mama wanting an unhindered birth and having a hard time of finding any support at all.  She wants to birth how God (or nature or whatever you believe in) made her body to birth with no interference from people coming at her with fear (or knives) and no one can or will becasue they are afraid of their butts getting prosecuted for it.  Hmmmm, should we get out the stakes and start burning those who are different once again?

We live in a time where it is all about ‘tolerance’.   Tolerance for all races (which I agree with of course), for gay marriage, for pornography, abortion, etc. “To each their own”.  We live in a day where doctors, the AMA, and the media can push the fear of death all over the place when it comes to things like birth and the swine flu!  We live now, right now, when pharmceutical companies jump on these opportunities to make BILLIONS of dollars from the fears of others.  We tolerate all of this.  But, if someone wants to tune out the media, wants to educate themselves, wants to keep drugs out of their bodies and believe in their innate intelligence, have faith in God and wants to have an unassisted birth, there is NO tolerance!  Are you kidding me?!

Fear mongering.  That is the best way I can describe it.  Fear is contagious and it catches on more quickly than any ‘deadly’ disease!  I am not about to be man handled (literally) again because of fear.  I have worked through my fears.  I have faith in myself, my body, my baby, my God!  I know I can birth this baby without having my vagina cut.  Without someone pulling on my baby’s head, without DRUGS!  The interference is what causes most problems.

Infant mortality rates are still high in our country because of premature babies being born too often.  My last baby was born at 44 weeks!  If I had just given into fears or listened to any doctor and even some midwives, they would have wanted to cut me open at 38-40 weeks tops!  That would have been 4-6 weeks to early for that baby!  Can you imagine?  As my chiropractor at the time put it, “She would have been severly compromised!”  Good thing I fought for what I knew was right.

I do not care who supports what I am doing and who does not.  I do not care what others think.  I have to live with my birth experiences, no one else.  And especially not the government or some doctor who does not know me.  With my last birth (my VBA2C), the doctor who I had never met before this, came into my room, looked at me, gloved up and put his hand in my vagina!  No introduction, didn’t ask, nothing.  He thought because I was a woman on my back in labor that he was in control of me.  I literally yelled at him, “GET OUT OF ME”! And he did.

In my opinion home birth is much, much safer than hospital birth.  For me, the safest birth option at this point is an unassisted birth.  To all the birthing women and any man who may support a birthing mama, read this again and again:  EDUCATE YOURSELF, FIND YOUR VOICE AND DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THE MAMA AND BABY!  This will be different for everyone. Do not look to others, especially doctors and hospitals for this answer.  Look within.  Once you find what the right thing is for you, DO NOT WAIVER.  EVER.

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Breech Baby

If you are the type of person who needs a little something more concrete, then I will give another reason. I have been able to tell by palpation and the baby’s movements. I have felt kicks, and not gentle ones, but more like football field goal kicker-type-kicks, in my lower left abdomen. This baby has strong feet and he/she has made me very aware of this fact. Also, sometimes while the baby is kicking on my left I feel movement on the right (no, I don’t have twins in there). I think this has been due to a transverse and/or breech position. Also, at the top of my abdomen I have felt a little round ‘noggin.

My first baby was a frank breech presentation. She loved that position and did not have any want or need to turn. We tried it all. The Webster technique, standing upside down in the pool, and even a manual external inversion (ouch!). Her little head was stuck. This was my start of cesarean sections and my journey towards my VBA2C and now unassisted birth.

So, it has been on my mind that I want this little one to get into a more favorable head down position. Am I comfortable with a breech unassisted birth? Ya, actually, I am. I would prefer a head down presentation. I do not want to have to worry about any complications that comes with a breech birth. I have of course read up on how to handle this if it does happen during my labor/birth!

I had another birth dream about a month ago. The actual dream itself was not a birth dream. It was one of those dreams that is all over the place…lots of people and places. At one point though, I found myself in a movie theater (one of my favorite things to do) with my hubby (one of my favorite people). The baby started moving around a lot. I knew in my dream that the baby was moving from a breech position to head down. In my dream, I told Brandon that the baby had flipped!

I awoke the next morning feeling very comforted. I knew after this dream that my baby was letting me know he/she intended to flip when ready! My faith has been strong in knowing this to be true.

Two days ago, the baby moved ALL DAY! When I say all day, I really mean it. Never before has one of my children moved so much in one day. This sweetheart did not stop jumping, flipping, kicking…you name it! Today I was feeling my belly and realized the baby has turned! I no longer feel the kicks in my lower left abdomen. Up top it feels like a booty/body! I am not sure which way the baby is facing (not good at figuring that out), but I am feeling less movement.

head down presentation

The movements went from strong, all over the place to slow and relaxed. Think of the movie Nemo. The movements I have been feeling went from Dori…fast, all over the place, sporadic, high energy, little crazy and are now more like the turtles…totally chill, slow, go with the flow, dude!!!

I am feeling confident and happier with myself. I am getting more intune once again and having faith that my baby, my body and God know exactly what they are doing.

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• My Health at the End of My Unassisted Pregnancy

My husband went out of town yesterday, I was exhausted, still had the headache and just needed someone. I do not have family I can call for support and I was left feeling like I wanted a mom to call. Someone to listen or someone close to come love on my kids while I get a much needed break. My pregnancy hormones kicked it and I cried and cried more.

When these feelings arise, I start to feel despair. This is when Satan likes to creep in. He wants me to feel down, hopeless and fearful. I question everything including and especially my unassisted pregnancy and birth. Yesterday, this led me to contacting a midwife whom I like in the area. She asked me via email what my actual plans were. I was honest and so was she. She does not support my decision. I understand.

This has left me feeling like I need to go inward, not outward. When I am feeling down or upset I always go outward for help or to get reassurance. It is nice to have support and love, but that is different than not trusting myself. This pregnancy has been full of emotion and I am at a point where I either need to give over my responsibility and trust to someone else (i.e. midwife or doctor) or need to love myself, have faith in the Lord at all times and go inward. I need to focus on a relationship with my unborn child. I need to tune in to my intuition. I can not do this by looking to others, including a midwife or doctor. I have done so in the past and was left feeling disappointed and frustrated.

Last night I went to bed at 10 pm and slept through the night! I feel so much better this morning already. Sleep is key to great mental and physical health! So, this is going to be my focus right now. I am going to take time to relax, pray and meditate. I am going to turn to my scriptures and the Lord when I am feeling like things are crazy! Last, but not lease I am going to eat and get sleep. I need to be like a child…having childlike faith and listening to my body. When my kids are sick, they rest and eat healthy food. They listen. They go inward. Sounds good to me!

*An afterthought is that by getting in a place of trust and faith, I can then know if and when I really do need help and I can know when things are well and gestate in peace.

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This article was shared on an LDS forum I visit. I went ahead and read it despite the warning that it involved a stillborn death of a baby recently. I just read it last night and I can not get it off my mind. I have to write about it.

When I first read the article, I felt really sad for her. To lose a child and to have to deal with all this criticism. That would be more difficult than I can comprehend. I think the article is crap. It is very, very biased. No where does it state how many babies die in the hospital vs. how many die at home. There is no information what really happened during and after her labor. Also, I want to note that I don’t think most women who suffer the loss of their baby in an unassisted birth (though rare, it happens) normally go through this. It is because of her status and being outspoken about unassisted birth, etc that has made this so.

“But her decision to forgo medical care entirely — even after her labor continued for a week — is tantamount to reckless endangerment of a child.”

This is the fear inducing talk and beliefs that I can’t stand in our society. Many women have long early and even active labors when left to labor on their own without interventions like pitocin. With my last baby, I had prodromal (early) labor for a week with contractions 10 minutes apart. It wasn’t painful, but exhausting. I was in active labor for 48 hours before I went to the hospital! So, a longer labor may have been very normal for this mom.

“In the past century, childbirth has gone from being the single most dangerous event in a woman’s life to something routine. We can thank Western medicine for that.”

This is a ridiculous claim too. Birth was the single most dangerous event in a woman’s life? Are you kidding me? The BIRTH wasn’t the dangerous part, but the conditions surrounding the birth. I do have to say that I have read (just recently in Hypnobirthing) where Western medicine was also responsible for causing a lot of those problems (i.e. deaths). When births started moving from homes to hospitals, there were some places where death rates went up because the hospital staffs were spreading infections among the birthing women!

My goodness, you know why the infant mortality rate is high in our country (it still is people)? Because of all that medical intervention. Because all the premature babies born. NOT because of free birth. There is no mention if the baby would have lived if born in a hospital. There really aren’t any good details or facts in this article in my opinion.

“It doesn’t empower women to take control of their own bodies. It sends them and their babies into the dark ages of medical care – where women give birth with no medical care at all and face the very real possibility of death as a consequence.”

And yes, it can be empowering. No wonder women don’t take responsibility themselves (if they want to). It’s all FEAR, FEAR, FEAR.

This article didn’t make me afraid of my UC, it made me want it even more.

After thinking over it last night and this morning, I also started thinking about Western medicine and how it specifically applies to birth. I have many opinions on how overused it is and how much I dislike interventions and the fear placed on birth in our country. With all that said, I do want to say that I do believe it has its place and can be a good thing.

What it comes down to in my opinion is women need to make informed choices by educating themselves. I would never say that all women should birth unassisted or even at home with a midwife and never in a hospital. Women just need to have the right to choose what is best for them and have the birth she wants!

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• Leaving Comments

by Dana Peters

I had my first birth dream a few months ago.  It was a few weeks before I was 20 weeks pregnant.  I had been playing with the idea of find out the gender of the baby this time around.  We took a peek with our first two children.  With our last angel, we waited until she was born.  The first thing Brandon did was look at the baby’s parts and yelled “It’s a girl!!!!”

This time I was on the fence because it was a hard adjustment emotionally being pregnant.  I wasn’t quite ready and here I was trying to connect to this tiny blessing the Lord decided was time to give us.  I thought that knowing the gender might help me connect more.

I read Laura Shanley’s, Unassisted Chilbirth and she talks a bit about birth dreams.  I had quite a vivid one myself!  In my dream, there were friends wanting to know ‘what I was having’.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell.  Then, in the dream, my tummy was peeled down like a veil and there was my sweet angel.  The baby looked like an 18-20 week old fetus and was breech so that it was looking up at me.  I had my arms around my belly and the baby as to protect it while this veil was down.  Looking into my baby’s eyes, I know that it didn’t matter if this blessing was male or female.  Quite frankly I felt like, in my dream and after waking, that it was none of mine or anyone else’s business.  The veil was lifted again so that my baby could grow in comfort, safety and peace.

The next day I awoke and pondered my dream.  I felt more connected to my baby and completely okay with not knowing the gender.  I am so excited about finding out when I birth him or her.  The surprise isn’t ruined!

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Really? Are you serious? Because I just know!

Then she asked, “How do you know you don’t have gestational diabetes if you haven’t taken the test?”

Really? Ummm, even if I was seeing a midwife, I’d refuse that test. I’m not drinking that crap!

Do any other women believe in their bodies? Are any women in tune with how they are feeling? How their baby is doing? To know when she really does need care or not? Or realize that nothing is perfect no matter how much you try to manage things? Sometimes things do go wrong no matter what you do and having a doctor isn’t going to make you feel better about it. Or how about that fact that any and ALL complications I had last time was BECAUSE OF the CNM! When I was left alone things were well, when I was ‘managed’ and ‘cared for’ I was hurt…A LOT (physically and emotionally).

I will admit it has been harder for me this time than my last pregnancy to get in tune and feel at peace. I wasn’t prepared ahead of time to get pregnant like last time. I have a lot more on my plate and I am more tired. BUT I still trust my body and birth! If I feel I need help, I will get it. In the mean time, leave me alone! Let me gestate in peace! Don’t put your fears on me.

*This is for me and based on my journey and experiences. I understand some women need care, but most women and babies would be fine if left alone! And if I feel I really needed help, I will get it!

*I also want to say that I love this friend and all of my other friends.  I think they care and that is where this is coming from.  I am using this example because it is the most recent.

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