The Unassisted Birth of Our Baby

Posted by January Harshe on July 2, 2009

Everyone has been asking for our birth story.  I was so excited that I was going to write it all out and post it right away.  Every time I opened up a fresh, “add new post” page, I became frozen. When the baby was a few days old, Brandon and I were watching a movie that was kind of emotional.  When it ended I began to cry and some feelings came out (this happens a lot post partum!).

I realized that my birth was so special and sacred this time that I can’t just post it, details and all, on a blog for the whole world to read.  It was too intimate for that.  If you haven’t had a natural childbirth, you may or may not understand.  I didn’t  before this birth.  And I even had a VBA2C last time, but it wasn’t intimate and natural!

So, I apologize if this is a let down.  I am going to share how the birth went, but the details and beauty of it I am keeping to myself.  If I know you and begin talking to you and feel comfortable sharing details with you, then I will, but not like this…on the internet!

Here is an overview.  It still seems like I am sharing a lot, but there was so much more!

My labor was 20 hours long, beginning Tuesday morning at 9 am after nursing my 20 month old.  This is very short for me in comparison to my last 2 labors.  It was perfect actually.  I labored on my own all day.  Brandon took care of the kids.  I did whatever felt natural.  I layed down a lot and rested, ate, went potty, etc.  The contractions were about 5 minutes apart all day.

I just relaxed like I had practiced with all the prodromal labor I had for weeks previous.  I visualized and practiced positive self talk (to myself.)  It was amazing to just give over and relax.  My labor was NOT painful at all.  It could have been.  I really learned with this birth that it is mostly mental.  It’s not about tolerating pain, it’s about giving over to the process of birth and having no fear!

Once all the kids were in bed and asleep (about 9 pm), I layed down with Brandon and we rested.  I labored between my bedroom like that and in the kitchen leaning over our high counter. I received a text from my friend Tiana and saw it was around midnight.  At this point things were picking up more.  She was the only person I told I was in labor.  A lot of people called me that day actually.  I was on their radar!  We didn’t want anyone to know we were in labor.  Tiana just text me at the right time, I guess, and I felt better after texting with her.

All day I groaned and moaned through my contractions.  I was getting a little more vocal and tired in the early hours of the morning.  I started to question things.  I realized I must be getting close to transition.  This is when Brandon’s support really helped.  He prayed for me a ton and talked to me and would help center me. This is also when I realizied that I had to COMPLETELY give over so I didn’t stall my labor like the last two times.

I finally got in the tub.  After Brandon and I prayed and talked, I mentally went into myself.  You know how you see or hear of women being SILENT, that was me!!!  I just went into the contractions and after a few of these, my water broke in the tub.  It was so cool.

I got out of the tub and was having a hard time relaxing. I was getting shaky and kinda questioning my sanity! LOL.  On the flip side of that though, I also told myself that I was in transition.  I knew what was going on.  I continued to trust in birth, trust in God and trust myself.  I believed in my body and knew everything was OK.  The baby was moving all throughout my labor (she was high and working herself into a good position) and I never once felt I would need to transfer.  What faith!

I got back in the tub and went back into myself.  I got silent again.  After a while, my feet starting getting numb, so I got on hands and knees and it was INTENSE.  I got out of the tub and went potty.  All of a sudden the contractions were super intense!  I couldn’t continue being silent.  I worked really hard to breathe through them, but I was pushing too! I couldn’t believe it because the baby had still been high.

Our 20 month old woke up and she and Brandon watched me as I breathed and pushed.  There were only 6-7 contractions like this.  After about 3, we felt and her head was in the birth canal.  After about 2 more she was crowning and in one more contraction she slid out into Brandon’s waiting hands.  I birthed her standing in a half squat.  It was amazing.  The details of this part are so emotional and beautiful. This was just a quick summary. For this blog though, I will share that we were ecstatic and of course in a “we did it!” excitement.  She was purple and took a minute to pink up.  She was just so quiet.  It was extremely peaceful.  Our 20 month old was yelling “BABY! BABY! BABY!” and loved it.  Brandon announced she was a girl.

I birthed the placenta easily and we had to work a bit to get my bleeding down.  This was the first time my body gave birth with NO INTERFERENCE!  I continued to have faith and my body got the hang of it.  After getting all cleaned up, Brandon, myself our 20 month old and baby bonded.  No one to poke, prod and place fears on us.  The older 2 children woke up a few hours after she was born and were so happy we were home.  Our oldest cut the cord about 3 hours after the birth (we had promised her she could). Our son was ecstatic because he was right…she was a girl!

It has been an amazing experience, to say the least.  Being in my own home with my family and bonding with our new baby has been relaxing.  No trauma, no outside interference.  Just birth.

Here are Brandon and I just hours after her birth.  I have more pictures on my family blog for those of you I know in real life.

Braxton Hicks Contractions, Nesting and More

Posted by January Harshe on April 29, 2009

This post is not a rant or educational (or maybe it will be to someone).  It is just a post about a little of this and a little of that.

I am 34 weeks pregnant now and am FINALLY in the place I have been struggling to get to for the last…oh, 34 weeks! I feel wonderful about being pregnant, I am definitely more in tune, I am eating how I feel best and I am ready to birth this baby!

I am in a mode right now where I am ready to get everything prepared and ready for my birth and I want my house clean at ALL times.  Some may refer to this behavior as nesting.  It is bad though.  If there is any clutter or dirty dishes or toys out, I tell my husband, “I don’t want to live like white trash, I need this clean!”.  LOL.  Somehow I have equated a little mess with living like white trash.  Ya, I am hormonal.

We are going to be taking a CPR/Neonatal resuscitation class and ordering a few birth supplies soon.  Oh, and I am going to be getting maternity pictures this time.  I am very excited about that. I will of course share.

I am really feeling that I am going to have this baby between 38-40 weeks.  Now, if you know me, this is almost ridiculous.  Laughable, really. I had my last baby VBA2C at 43 weeks and 6 days and my 2nd baby at 42 weeks!  The main reason I am feeling I will not go so far post dates is because I am so mentally sound and ready to have this baby at home with just myself and my husband present.  I have let go of all fears. I have faith that this is going to be a beautiful, healing experience.

Now, on one hand I hesitate to make that claim.  I know mothers who say they thought they were going to have their baby “early” and then go ‘late’.  We all cook our babies different and each baby comes when he or she is ready.  So, in that sense there is no late or early.  This baby will come when he or she is in perfect health to meet us!  On the other hand, I can be very in tune, so we’ll see what happens!

About Braxton Hicks contractions.  Also referred to as practice contractions or false labor, etc.  They really are none of the above in my opinion.  I refer to them as “tightenings” and I LOVE them!  They let me know my uterus and body are exercising and getting ready to help assist my baby in coming earthside.  Also, they are mentally preparing me for birth.

I have been reading Hypnobirthing.  Brandon is now reading it as well.  I’ll have another post dedicated to this book.  But for now, I just want to say that I use my tightenings as an opportunity to relax.  I truly feel my last two labors were so long and painful ( 72 and 54 hours active labor) because of 2 reasons.  First is fear.  Second is tensing up and fighting my body in what it is trying to do best…birth a baby!  Contractions are associated with fear and pain in our country.  I had the hardest time just relaxing and letting go.

So, even when I get these practice tightenings, my first thought is pain.  Tense up January, oh that hurts.  Now that I know more and have let go of fears and misconceptions of what birth ’should be’, I just breathe through them and enjoy them.  Sometimes my whole belly gets tight.  Other times I feel it in my ligaments.  My body is awesome and it is working with my baby already!

I am curious to see if these tightenings turn into a more regular prodromal labor at some point.  I had this with my last baby for about a week.  That can be a little more tiring as they can be a tad bit more intense and regular.  I know many mamas who can experience this for weeks!  I hope that this time, if I am to experience prodromal labor, I can continue loving the process and letting go.

One other thing to mention.  There is one part of me I am looking forward to having back after I have this baby and that is my amazing patience.  This pregnancy and my last have been hard for me when it comes to being patient with my children.  I know it’s hard on them too, because they are used to a very laid back mommy.  I have very high expectations of what I should be like as a parent and it kills me when I do not feel I am living up to that.  So, that is the only thing that I am wishing were different.  I’ll take it though.  I have a beautiful family, a healthy pregnancy and a wonderful birth to look forward to!