A List of Things To Do

Posted by January Harshe on January 21, 2008

I’m here! So sorry I did not post last week. I went out of town kind of on a whim to visit a great friend and her children. It was a lot of fun and I’m happy I was able to make the trip. You would think I lost a lot of weight running around with six children ages 4, 4, 2, 2, 5 months and 3 months! LOL. It was a riot! The highlights of the trip were getting to see a good friend, the beautiful mountain views, going to the movies (one of my favorite things to do), eating at the Bear Paw, checking out Colorado City and finally getting to buy some raw cheese and milk!

Actually, I got sick while I was there. I ate some food on Tuesday night that did not settle well and Wednesday I felt horrible. Okay, Staci is going to pee her pants when she reads this, but I was burping sewage out of my mouth! I’m not kidding. Her husband finally lit candles. All I could do was crack up that I was having the nastiest burps any human could possibly have. Gross! On Thursday, my body finally decided to dispose of things in the toilet instead of out my mouth! I don’t remember the last time I had bowel movements like that. My kids also didn’t feel well. This is just not "normal" for us. Why am I sharing this with you all? While I was sitting, staring at the toilet, thinking I was going to barf, I just couldn’t believe I was there. There was no one to blame but myself. Why do I do this? I know what is good for my body and what is not. So, why do I continue to eat foods that are not life sustaining? Why am I not fed up enough to progress to the next level of health? These are the questions that have been on my mind.

I am home and getting back into the swing of things. While I was gone I had time to reflect on what I was doing and more on what I was not doing. I know that I am not making the improvements in my life that I truly want. Brandon and I had time to discuss this on our seven hour drive home. It is obvious to us that I have somehow lost some of my spark. I care too much what others think and I do not do what I need or want to for myself while taking care of my family first. I am never going to be at my optimal level of health (mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually) if I don’t change this.

Finally, I asked my husband to make a list of things he thinks I could be doing to improve my life and become my best self.

Here it is:

-Meditate about visualization in the morning and gratitude in the evening

-Read 2 chapters a day of personal development material

-Listen to 1 CD a day of personal development material

-Read 1 chapter a day of scriptures

-Eat a vegetarian diet with no white flour, white rice (my love!), pasta or sugar

-Do 30 minutes of cardio a day and work my way up to 45 minutes to an hour (start at 3 times/week)

-Do pushups, crunches and lunges every other day

-Set a goal of how many blog posts I want per week and write them. I can do them all in a day, just decide what is best for my and stick to it

-Get a success journal and write down good points on things I have read, listened to or think of. Write in it every day. We can do this together and share if we want to.

We discussed each thing and I feel they are all great. My only thing is finding time to do all of these things being home with three small children. That is not an excuse, just something to work around. We decided that I should start with doing one of these things today and work my way into all of them. They all have to become routine and habitual. My days will eventually be shaped into a rhythm of doing all these things.

I am adding these to the list:

-Pick up and keep the house clean. The kids can help

-Do more activities and crafts with the children.

-Have more reading time with me and the kids.

-Start scrap booking again (get that 3rd bedroom organized!)

I am realizing that I have to integrate all of this. I can have reading time with the kids where they look at their book while I read my few chapters and when I’m finished I can read to them. I can set them up with a craft at the table an work on it with them while listening to a CD or posting a blog. It doesn’t have to be one or the other, it’s just a matter of finding the right flow for us.

I hope to report back soon on my success starting and continuing to do these things. I also hope that Brandon can give me great support, because my biggest thing to improve is following through.

What are some things you have done or are going to start doing to get to your best self?

Being Right: It Won’t Make You Popular

Posted by Brandon Harshe on January 10, 2008

My last post really garnered quite a response from one particular reader. I made some statements about some things that this reader didn’t agree with or felt that I was wrong about and let me know. I responded that this reader was the wrong one, and this began a chain reaction of back-and-forth nitpicking. It was getting to the point where we started sniveling about how each person worded something in particular or what they really meant or blah, blah, blah.

I finally realized that we were both attempting to be right, and that proving the other person wrong wasn’t going to endear us to one another.

I recently read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. One of the cardinal sins mentioned in that book is trying to prove you’re right. No one wants to be around someone that always wants to be right. When you have to prove that your stance on a certain issue is the right one, all that does is make the other person defensive. And trying to get anywhere with a person already on the defense is a tough task.

Chuck Gallozzi said it perfectly in his article Being Right:

"There are many reasons to give up our addiction to being ‘right.’ First, consider what we are doing when we make pronouncements that you are either for me or against me, or that it’s my way or the highway, or that I’m ‘right ’ and you’re ‘wrong.’ Aren’t we being arrogant, combative, self-righteous, presumptuous, judgmental, narrow-minded, and alienating? Aren’t such attitudes divisive and dysfunctional? Don’t they disrupt harmony and peace and lead to conflict and suffering?"

We all want to be right at some point or another. I would say it’s one of my worst traits. Just ask January. She will gladly tell you how annoying I can be sometimes. Heck, it even annoys me at times… like with the example I gave at the beginning.

What does being right have to do with a blog about health and losing weight? When you are focused on getting healthier and/or losing weight, it’s good to have a support system you can count on to assist you through the difficult times. If you are someone who needs to be right all the time, your support will quickly dwindle because people don’t want to be around someone they always have to be on the defensive with.

In the long run, does it really matter if I think MSG is dangerous and you don’t? Or if I co-sleep with my kids and you don’t? Or if I you vaccinate your kids, but I don’t? Or if you enjoy smoking, but I can’t even stand a whiff of that stuff?

Perception may be everything, but only you can perceive things the way you do. We each have our own life experiences that lead us to the beliefs we have. Tearing someone down from their beliefs only to prop yourself up with correct facts is no way to be. That is, unless you want to be lonely.

I truly believe that’s something we can all take to heart.

Me included.