This was a hard week. It started out with a horrible headache that did not want to go away. My adjustments were not holding either. All of this was due to lack of sleep. Our bodies are amazing, but they do need rest. God rested a season after the Earth was created! Well, my body needs to rest as it creates this life growing in my womb!
My husband went out of town yesterday, I was exhausted, still had the headache and just needed someone. I do not have family I can call for support and I was left feeling like I wanted a mom to call. Someone to listen or someone close to come love on my kids while I get a much needed break. My pregnancy hormones kicked it and I cried and cried more.
When these feelings arise, I start to feel despair. This is when Satan likes to creep in. He wants me to feel down, hopeless and fearful. I question everything including and especially my unassisted pregnancy and birth. Yesterday, this led me to contacting a midwife whom I like in the area. She asked me via email what my actual plans were. I was honest and so was she. She does not support my decision. I understand.
This has left me feeling like I need to go inward, not outward. When I am feeling down or upset I always go outward for help or to get reassurance. It is nice to have support and love, but that is different than not trusting myself. This pregnancy has been full of emotion and I am at a point where I either need to give over my responsibility and trust to someone else (i.e. midwife or doctor) or need to love myself, have faith in the Lord at all times and go inward. I need to focus on a relationship with my unborn child. I need to tune in to my intuition. I can not do this by looking to others, including a midwife or doctor. I have done so in the past and was left feeling disappointed and frustrated.
Last night I went to bed at 10 pm and slept through the night! I feel so much better this morning already. Sleep is key to great mental and physical health! So, this is going to be my focus right now. I am going to take time to relax, pray and meditate. I am going to turn to my scriptures and the Lord when I am feeling like things are crazy! Last, but not lease I am going to eat and get sleep. I need to be like a child…having childlike faith and listening to my body. When my kids are sick, they rest and eat healthy food. They listen. They go inward. Sounds good to me!
*An afterthought is that by getting in a place of trust and faith, I can then know if and when I really do need help and I can know when things are well and gestate in peace.
This article was shared on an LDS forum I visit. I went ahead and read it despite the warning that it involved a stillborn death of a baby recently. I just read it last night and I can not get it off my mind. I have to write about it.
When I first read the article, I felt really sad for her. To lose a child and to have to deal with all this criticism. That would be more difficult than I can comprehend. I think the article is crap. It is very, very biased. No where does it state how many babies die in the hospital vs. how many die at home. There is no information what really happened during and after her labor. Also, I want to note that I don’t think most women who suffer the loss of their baby in an unassisted birth (though rare, it happens) normally go through this. It is because of her status and being outspoken about unassisted birth, etc that has made this so.
“But her decision to forgo medical care entirely — even after her labor continued for a week — is tantamount to reckless endangerment of a child.”
This is the fear inducing talk and beliefs that I can’t stand in our society. Many women have long early and even active labors when left to labor on their own without interventions like pitocin. With my last baby, I had prodromal (early) labor for a week with contractions 10 minutes apart. It wasn’t painful, but exhausting. I was in active labor for 48 hours before I went to the hospital! So, a longer labor may have been very normal for this mom.
“In the past century, childbirth has gone from being the single most dangerous event in a woman’s life to something routine. We can thank Western medicine for that.”
This is a ridiculous claim too. Birth was the single most dangerous event in a woman’s life? Are you kidding me? The BIRTH wasn’t the dangerous part, but the conditions surrounding the birth. I do have to say that I have read (just recently in Hypnobirthing) where Western medicine was also responsible for causing a lot of those problems (i.e. deaths). When births started moving from homes to hospitals, there were some places where death rates went up because the hospital staffs were spreading infections among the birthing women!
My goodness, you know why the infant mortality rate is high in our country (it still is people)? Because of all that medical intervention. Because all the premature babies born. NOT because of free birth. There is no mention if the baby would have lived if born in a hospital. There really aren’t any good details or facts in this article in my opinion.
“It doesn’t empower women to take control of their own bodies. It sends them and their babies into the dark ages of medical care – where women give birth with no medical care at all and face the very real possibility of death as a consequence.”
And yes, it can be empowering. No wonder women don’t take responsibility themselves (if they want to). It’s all FEAR, FEAR, FEAR.
This article didn’t make me afraid of my UC, it made me want it even more.
After thinking over it last night and this morning, I also started thinking about Western medicine and how it specifically applies to birth. I have many opinions on how overused it is and how much I dislike interventions and the fear placed on birth in our country. With all that said, I do want to say that I do believe it has its place and can be a good thing.
What it comes down to in my opinion is women need to make informed choices by educating themselves. I would never say that all women should birth unassisted or even at home with a midwife and never in a hospital. Women just need to have the right to choose what is best for them and have the birth she wants!
I was at Whole Foods the other night (yes, anyone that knows me is familiar with this being my FAVORITE store ever!). I ventured into their raw foods, scouring the shelves for anything labeled RAW. I bought whatever I could find. When I checked out, my bill was $163.35. "Not bad," you say, "for Whole Foods." Well, my husband would disagree. See, he has a problem with spending that kind of money on groceries when he opens the fridge or cupboard 2 days later and there is NO food.
So, tonight I did a little experiment. I wanted to see how much food I could get at Costco and Sprouts for about the same. This is what I found. The advantage is I get a ton more raw and healthy food for myself and my family. This will help me to stay eating raw. I won’t get hungry and feel like I have nothing to eat. The downside is I have to give up having everything organic for now. Hopefully not for long, b/c I do feel organic is important. After writing out the grocery lists, I realized I wasn’t able to get a lot of organic at Whole Foods either. So, if you can’t get all organic, buy the non-organic at a place where the quality is still good, but cheaper!
I think this is another step towards me becoming 100% totally raw and vegan.
Just for kicks and because I have nothing better to do (ok, I am rolling on the floor laughing my butt off at that one), I am going to post all 3 grocery list receipts. This will give you an idea of what I was able to purchase. If you don’t find it interesting, at least you can find it amusing that I am doing this instead of sleeping while my children are all sound asleep.
My shock at Whole Foods;
Produce and Floral:
Navel Oranges: 94 cents Medjool dates: 2.34 (this was for 5 dates) 2 avocados: 3.98 (not the organic ones…those were 2.99 each baby!) Seedless red grapes (local, but not organic either, 2.49 lbs.) 12.43 Organic bananas (2.21 lbs): 1.97 Bananas (2.17 lbs.): 1.50 Seedless watermelon (1/4 of a watermelon): 3.75 1 lb. strawberries: 6.99
Grocery/Bulk/Dairy
2 Strawberry Synergy Kombucha: 6.78 Holiday cocoa display (this is hot cocoa "coal" for my brother): 1.99 Lite raw shredded coconut: 1.69 Raw cacao chocolate powder: 8.99 for 8 oz. Raw cacao power nibs: 8.99 for 8 oz. National raw goji berries:14.99 Instant flax oatmeal (for kids): 2.99 Organic soy sauce: 2.49 Raw organic sprouted pumpkin seeds: 14.99 OUCH! Maybe I need to get the regular kind! Raw organic sprouted sunflower seeds: 10.99 Raw organic flax snax (crackers): 8.99 Jalapeno Raw organic crisps (crackers): 4.69 Raw organic hickory paprika crisps: 4.69 Raw organic sunflower flax snax: 8.99 Raw almonds (.89 lbs): 14.23 Raw pecan halves (.54 lbs): 6.47 Raw/dehydrated sliced mango (.50 lbs): 6.50
Total: 163.35
Yummy, but expensive for sure!
So, on to the experiment.
Sprouts
Bulk/Dairy
Basil leaf: 44 cents Vanilla Beans: $3.49 6 Synergy Kombucha: 20.94 (Maybe I need to learn how to grow my own, what do you think?)
Grocery
2 Raw Blue Agave: $8.18 Bragg’s extra virgin olive oil : 5.99 4 Raw Lara Bars: 6.36 4 Bragg’s salad dressings: 13.56
Total: 84.98 (This was with stocking up on dressing and agave as well)
Costco
2 12 oz. raspberries: 7.98 Frozen strawberries: 8.29 5lb bag organic baby carrots: 4.79 2 24 oz. blueberries 15.98 A golden pineabpple: 3.49 2 bags avacados (about 10 large): 11.98 2 lbs grape tomoatoes: 4.99 8 lbs bananas: 2.60 5 lbs lemons: 6.99 "Transitional" Gala apples 4 lbs red seedless grapes: 8.49 2 18 oz blackberries: 9.98
Total: 93.55
Total of Costco and Sprouts combined: 178.53
WOW!!!
I can not even tell you the difference! That’s why I took pictures! I think Costco and Sprouts win for now. I spent almost the same amount of money and received so much more awesome, yummy food.
I’m so sorry Whole Foods, but I have to break up with you. It’s not you, it’s me. OK, not really. It is you. Maybe we can have a fling on the side every now and then for old times sake. When I can afford you and be your sugar mama, we can talk again about something serious. For now, there will always be a special place in my heart for you. I will love you forever.
