Archive for the ‘Positive Thinking’ Category

Finding Balance for an Inner Peace

Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Yes, I ate a McDonald’s ice cream cone yesterday and I loved every minute of it. In fact my daughter didn’t want her’s so I had 2! You can call me a hypocrite, crazy, or say good for you! I don’t care. I need a balance between being healthy and enjoying life! When I became healthier and lost weight before I would still get treats, but always the best. I used to eat Pacuigo’s gelato once or twice a week! I had found a good balance that worked for me. 

 

It’s this balance that I am struggling with now. I’m in a different state (TX vs. AZ), environment, around different people, the elements of my family have changed (a new baby), my body is different (another pregnancy and now nursing). Finding the right balance can be a bit tricky. It’s kind of touch and go until one day you realize things feel right. You feel great, look great, have a good rhythm to your day and your family is happier. This is what I am working on now. This is where my journey is at the moment. It’s kind of exciting actually. I get to write my life. I am the author with a pen in my hand (or a keyboard in front of me) getting to decide not only what is going to happen today, but also what the next chapter will hold for me.

I am ready Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace. Now that’s quite a bit to ingest at first. To tell you the truth it’s a pretty book. That may sound strange, but it really does feel good to have around. 

 

Chapter one or the first secret is to "Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing". That is a big concept to grasp. To do this, you must let go of all conditioning, preconceived ideas and what you have learned to be true. This is so much more to this life, this world, than we know. What we know is nothing, but a tiny piece of a bigger picture. Anything is possible. Anything! If you realize that you know just about nothing about anything, then you will see that there is no reason to have a closed mind about anything.

Since anything is possible, and there is much to this universe we don’t know then you can create anything you want, right? Have you heard the quote, "With God all things are possible."? I love that Wayne Dyer used this in his book. It is so true. If you do not think that you can do anything your heart desires, then you do not believe that with God all things are possible. It’s that simple. Do you believe or don’t you? Break down those barriers and layers of crap and get to your core. Have the faith of child. Believe!

How can you be open to everything? Wayne Dyer makes a bold statement. When someone suggest something to you that goes against you conditioning, instead of saying, "That’s ridiculous or impossible", say, "I’ve never considered that before, I’ll think about it!" Try doing this for a week and see if it opens your mind. You might realize that you are more negative than you think of yourself to be.

Another statement to make you think is this. "Let go of your attachments to what you’ve been trained to believe. Open your mind to all possibilities, because whether you believe something is possible or impossible, either way you’ll be right."

He believes that your attachments are a source of all your problems. You can be attached to things, people, the need to be right, to win, etc. By being open minded you can resist these attachments and have inner peace and success.

So, how do you release attachments? Change how you see yourself. There are two sides to people. Their ego and their spirit. Taming your ego and letting your spirit shine through to guide your life is key. Be a witness in your life. Have peaceful thoughts and then you’ll have peaceful emotions. You can still desire, but don’t be attached.

One more thing from the book. Let’s say you have two wands. With Wand A you can have anything physical you desire and with Wand B you can have a sense of peace for the rest of your life regardless of anything that comes up in your life. If you pick peace then you already have Wand B. Think about it. If you can love someone enough for them to be what they choose to be without any expectations or attachments from you then you will have true peace in your life. "True love means you love a person for what they are , not for what you think they should be. This is an open mine—and an absence of attachment"

That is awesome! It is very inspiring. Thank you Dr. Wayne Dyer!

I’ll give an example of how I had to let go of a physical attachment just a few minutes ago. I received a birthday present from a good friend. Something I had wanted that was cute and just for me. It just arrived and I pulled it out of the package. I had used a pair of scissors to open the package. I walked away for a minute to grab something and my 4 year old daughter jumped up on the counter, grabbed the scissor and cut the beautiful ribbon that went across the present. The ribbon was not on the packaging, but was actually part of the object. My first reaction was to be upset. I wanted to feel sorry for myself because I had just received it and already it was "ruined"! I wanted my daughter to feel bad, to have remorse. Then I stopped myself. It is a thing, an object. Does it really matter? Why am I attached to the point of being upset over it? So, I grabbed the scissor and cut off the ribbon and left the pretty bow and no one will even know.

It is interesting to me how attached we can be. Here are some things I am going to work on not being attached to:

-Anything physical in my life including bags, clothes, our TV, computer, and my phone. I learned that it was easy to live without a phone this week as I had left it in Utah and haven’t had an alternative. It wasn’t so bad. More peaceful actually!

-My hurt feelings and pride.

-Food :roll:

Are there any attachments you can let go of to strive for inner peace?

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Accomplishments of the Day

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008

A Realization:

Yesterday I realized I was beating myself up with self talk in my head. "You shouldn’t be eating so much." "What’s wrong with you? You should be losing weight." "You know what to do." Then, I stopped. I had an epiphany that I really did just have a baby, I’m nursing a ton and I am listening to my body! I dropped 30 pounds right after I had Annabelle. I have not lost or gained any since. I think I am trying to force something that is not ready to happen. I really do need to get back to only focusing on being healthy. I know I need to stop worrying about weight loss because it’s not the right time. I need to think only about putting healthy food into my body for me and Annabelle, then I will be much happier. This is a step towards me eating the way I want, becoming healthier and yes, losing weight. This is not an excuse to not care, but actually to care more. To care about nourishing not only my body, but my mind and spirit because I am listening to my body and putting a stop to negative self talk.

Nourishing My Mind and Spirit

I am a different person (a better me) when I am taking time to listen and read good material. When I am taking time to reflect and pray.

I am in the middle of listening to Wayne Dyer’s Your Life Begins Now. He talks about ego verses spirit or your intuitive self. I’ll come back to this as I finish the CD’s

I have also been having down time to watch my favorite parts of movies like Step Up. Hey, I have to have fun too. Just because I’m a wife and mother, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a hot dance movie! Brandon bought me one of my all time favorite movies, Dirty Dancing! I can’t wait to get a moment to watch it!

I have decided to read Proverbs in the Bible. I was reading chapter 20 and a few verses stuck out to me.
Proverbs 20:7 "The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him." This scripture says a lot to me. I know that if I (and my husband) are walking with God, then our family will be blessed because of it.
Proverbs 20:9 " Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?" A good reminder to keep my heart clean and pure.
Proverbs 20:11 "Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right." We are known by the value of our work. What we do really does effect us, our spouse, our children, our friends and everyone we know. Is what I am doing positively effecting people or not?

I am always conversing with God telling Him that I want to be one of these amazing people that is all loving, forgiving and accepting. Well, when we ask for something it doesn’t always come how we expect. I have been recently put into situations where I can choose to be those things or I can let my ego or my analytical side or what I perceive to be true and hard, or what I have been conditioned to think, dictate how I respond. I have been given an opportunity to show unconditional love and forgiveness in circumstances which would normally not be easy to do these things. If I truly want to be a person at true peace, this is my time to be it. This is my time to love, forgive, accept, help, pray for others around me that I am finding myself in these situations with. It’s quite profound and an interesting place to be. I think it takes a lot to even recognize that I am being given an opportunity to be a better person and Christ-like instead of just focusing on my hurt feelings and wounded pride.

I have a constant internal struggle. I find myself wanting to feel hurt and wanting to think of how I’ve been "wronged". Now, I simply stop my mind from continuing and think about how blessed I am and how I feel better from the inside out letting the negative feelings go. Why do people chose to feel hurt? Yes it is a choice. We are capable of so much more. We can truly be amazing spiritual people walking around this Earth loving and blessing all of those around us! It takes letting go of all the layers of crap that has been passed down generation to generation. It takes constant work and remembering that we are human. It takes remembering why were are here and that this is a journey, a positively progressive one if we make it so. Think about what you are truly capable of. Why haven’t you done it or why are you not being it? Is whatever you are answering really true? Or is it what you believe to be true? Let it go. Be who you want to be, do what you want to do. It really, really, really is that simple! It is our limiting beliefs that make it difficult. What limiting beliefs can you let go of?

Today I am choosing to be the person I know I want to and can be. I am all loving, forgiving and at peace with my choices. I will choose this all day. Then, tomorrow when I wake up I will chose this again. This is more important than what I am eating and how I am exercising. Those things will come as I change habits!

I have been eating these kinds of foods:

A large bowl of organic oatmeal with raw agave and a little bit of wild blackberry honey
Glass of raw milk (hee hee…makes me so happy)
Raw cheese, dates, raisins and raw pecan pieces
Snacking on plates of fruit (apples, oranges, banana)
Smoothies
Air popped popcorn with olive oil and sea salt
Ezekiel cinnamon raisin bread with peanut butter and blackberry honey
Brown rice, red lentils, organic veggie medley, soy sauce, curry, and tumeric
Canned diced organic tomatoes, garlic, sea salt, basil baked and served over corn chips and topped w/raw cheese
Water
Vitamin C, Multivitamin, Iodine

 

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Don’t Just Sit In Front Of The Computer… Exercise!

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

fat man sitting at the computer, obese guy sitting at computerWe’ve all done it from time to time. Sitting in front of the computer for long, extended periods of time.

In fact, at the time of writing this, I’ve been at the computer for quite a long while, redesigning a new theme for this site. I can definitely tell I’ve been at the computer too long. My vision is a little blurry, and my butt and neck are sore.

When you sit in front of the computer for too long, you tend to hunch over… kind of just slouching in your chair. That is not a good thing for your spine.

Here’s Why

You have two main curves in your back: a lordotic curve in your lower back (the spine curves toward the stomach) and a kyphotic curve in the upper back (spine curves away from chest). The curve in the neck is lordotic as well, but bad posture can straighten that curve very easily.lordosis in lumbars and cervicals, kyphosis in thoracics

Ideally, you want to sit in a chair that is ergonomically correct i.e. a 120 degree angled-tilt with a 5 cm pad in the lower back area to preserve natural lordosis in the lower back.

What actually happens is most people do not sit in an ergonomically correct chair, and as such, they don’t sit straight on their own, either. They slouch, which causes hyper-kyphosis in the upper back (extra curve) and some hypo-lordosis in the lower back (less curve). This in turn leads to a person leaning their head forward, which eventually causes a tremendous amount of strain in the rear neck muscles. For every inch you lean your head forward, that’s equivalent to adding 16 extra pounds of tension to your cervical spine. This kind of posture is what leads to tension headaches in many people. They neck muscles are fatigued and strained and they spasm slightly, which can lead to a strain of blood flow in that area, thus causing a headache.

How To Avoid Bad Posture, Headaches, and Obesity

Get up and move around. Period.

Pick fun activities that you feel will be worth time away from the computer. Some examples are to take a walk around the block, chase your kids around the house, or start up the Darren Rowse exercise routine!

fat kid eating at mcdonald's, obese kid eating fast foodDoing anything that requires some kind of exercise is great for all of us. Exercise releases endorphins all throughout our body, making us feel better. Exercise gives us more confidence as well. And if you have kids, most importantly, you’re setting the example for them.

The Lord knows kids in this country need any kind of help they can get. With obesity levels soaring above 65% in this country, what percentage of that do you think is below the age of 18? Try 15% between the ages of 6 and 19. Type II diabetes anyone? Heart disease? Going once, going twice…

Just by going out and running and/or doing push-ups and pull-ups at the house, the kids want to exercise with me. Tatum wants to go running with me, but I have to explain to her that I’m running "very far." But that’s okay. One day she’ll be able to go with me, and that will be a thrill for me.

skipping around the block, skipping down the streetI know in this day and age that sitting in front of the computer is what most of us do a lot of, whether it’s for work or play. But that doesn’t mean we have to confine ourselves to a life of continuous bad posture and subsequent structural problems with our spine.

So get off your butt and go skip around the block like this happy couple.

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Being Right: It Won’t Make You Popular

Thursday, January 10th, 2008

being right, being correct, popular, being popular, you won't win a popularity contestMy last post really garnered quite a response from one particular reader. I made some statements about some things that this reader didn’t agree with or felt that I was wrong about and let me know. I responded that this reader was the wrong one, and this began a chain reaction of back-and-forth nitpicking. It was getting to the point where we started sniveling about how each person worded something in particular or what they really meant or blah, blah, blah.

I finally realized that we were both attempting to be right, and that proving the other person wrong wasn’t going to endear us to one another.

I recently read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. One of the cardinal sins mentioned in that book is trying to prove you’re right. No one wants to be around someone that always wants to be right. When you have to prove that your stance on a certain issue is the right one, all that does is make the other person defensive. And trying to get anywhere with a person already on the defense is a tough task.

Chuck Gallozzi said it perfectly in his article Being Right:

"There are many reasons to give up our addiction to being ‘right.’ First, consider what we are doing when we make pronouncements that you are either for me or against me, or that it’s my way or the highway, or that I’m ‘right ’ and you’re ‘wrong.’ Aren’t we being arrogant, combative, self-righteous, presumptuous, judgmental, narrow-minded, and alienating? Aren’t such attitudes divisive and dysfunctional? Don’t they disrupt harmony and peace and lead to conflict and suffering?"

We all want to be right at some point or another. I would say it’s one of my worst traits. Just ask January. She will gladly tell you how annoying I can be sometimes. Heck, it even annoys me at times… like with the example I gave at the beginning.

What does being right have to do with a blog about health and losing weight? When you are focused on getting healthier and/or losing weight, it’s good to have a support system you can count on to assist you through the difficult times. If you are someone who needs to be right all the time, your support will quickly dwindle because people don’t want to be around someone they always have to be on the defensive with.

In the long run, does it really matter if I think MSG is dangerous and you don’t? Or if I co-sleep with my kids and you don’t? Or if I you vaccinate your kids, but I don’t? Or if you enjoy smoking, but I can’t even stand a whiff of that stuff?

Perception may be everything, but only you can perceive things the way you do. We each have our own life experiences that lead us to the beliefs we have. Tearing someone down from their beliefs only to prop yourself up with correct facts is no way to be. That is, unless you want to be lonely.

I truly believe that’s something we can all take to heart.

Me included.

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It Will Actually Take Longer If You Rush

Monday, December 31st, 2007

slow down and relaxWe’ve all had those days where we woke up late and had to rush our way to work, school, etc. Maybe the power went out to your house during the course of the night, and when it came back on, the time on your alarm clock was way off. Or maybe one of your kids woke up in the middle of the night, say 2am and stayed up until about 4am. You went back to bed and were so exhausted, you ended sleeping through your alarm. Or maybe you turned it off and thought to yourself “I’ll stay in bed just ten more minutes” only to wake up two hours later.

We’ve all had those things happen. Instead of just embracing the extra sleep (obviously we needed it) and calling in or rescheduling, we have the habit of panicking instead.

The first reaction is to jump out of bed and scream “Son of a… I’m late!” The first thing you do is stub the crap out of your toe as you run to the bathroom. You growl in pain and anger, looking down to see that your pinky toenail is cracked and bloodied. Great.

You then hobble into the bathroom and start the shaving process; depending on sex, either your face or legs. During the course of shaving, you cut yourself bad. The bleeding doesn’t stop. You grab a big piece of wadded up toilet paper and apply pressure. The blood soaks through and you have to grab even more toilet paper, wad it up and press it hard against your wound. Five minutes later it eases up… a little.

Then you hop into the shower and turn on the water. As you turn the knob, it breaks. How are you going to turn the water off now? Usually the water takes a short time to warm up, but today it’s not getting hot… at all! So you suck it up and grit your teeth through a forty-second freezing shower. When you finish it takes you a couple minutes to figure out how to shut the water off. By the time all‘s said and done, you’ve spent about twenty minutes in the bathroom when you meant to spend five.

After you dry off, you run to your closet to get dressed. Then you remember… you were going to get up early and iron a shirt. You don’t have anything clean without wrinkles in it. Now you’re screwed, right? Another ten minutes goes by as you iron your shirt. But then, you can’t find any socks that match. What’s going on today? Argh! By the time you find some socks that somewhat resemble each other, you’ve spent about twenty minutes in your closet when you meant to only spend about one.

At this point, forget about eating anything. You don’t have the time to even grab something to go. You go to grab your car keys, but you can’t find them. Where’d they go? They’re around here somewhere! Then you remember… your kiddo was playing with them last night, but you don’t know where the rascal hid them. After thirty minutes, you finally find your keys in the oven, of all places! Makes you realize that maybe you should get some duplicates made in case this happens again.

Then you get into your car. You start your car, only to realize that the gas light is on. You’re just a hairline over empty. You remember that since you were going to get up a little early, this wasn’t going to be a big deal, considering you didn’t feel like filling up on your way home yesterday.

When you get to the gas station, every pump is occupied. You wait several minutes until a pump finally opens up. But this one has a note over the keypad where you slide your debit card into. It reads “PLEASE PAY INSIDE.” You slump your shoulders in dejection as you go inside and wait in line. But that takes forever as well. The lady in front of you needs Powerball tickets. She buys thirty tickets… and wants to pick the numbers all by herself. Argh!

By the time you leave the gas station, you’ve spent twenty minutes there when you meant to spend about three.

As you get onto the freeway, you see that traffic is backed up. At this point, you just want to go home and forget about your destination, but you can’t. You’re stuck in gridlocked traffic on the freeway. After twenty minutes of inching along only a mile, traffic picks back up. You see flashing lights and police cars and realize that there was an accident in the opposing traffic lane, and the reason it took you twenty minutes to go a mile was because everyone on your side of the freeway was rubbernecking to see the accident. Argh!

By the time you arrive at work, school, etc., you’ve spent nearly two hours panicking and stressing as you rushed and rushed to get to where you needed to be at a somewhat decent time. Instead, you are way too late, really frustrated, and freakin’ hungry. Remember- you didn’t have time to eat.

We’ve all been through this kind of morning and it’s no fun. So what do you do in this situation? What if you wake up late and have to be somewhere right away?

What you should not do is worry. So you slept in. It happens. Your teacher or boss has done it. Everyone has. So who cares? If you have to call someone and let them know the situation, then be responsible and do it. Let them know when you’ll be in, and when you do, make sure you give yourself enough time to do what you need to do without stressing. You shouldn’t have to rush through shaving, showering, eating, and just dealing with life, period. Things happen, so give yourself the time to deal with those things. But don’t rush. It never pays off. It only creates stress, panic, frustration, anger, irritation, negativity, etc.

Have you ever heard the saying “go with the flow?” There’s more to that saying than you think. Life is all about flow. The minute you have to force things or rush things, they never work out how you want and you just get frustrated, among other things. If you can learn to offer zero resistance to things that come up in life, and instead just deal with them as they come, one situation at a time, chances are you’ll have a more peaceful existence.

I’ve since learned how to do this and I can tell you, honestly, that my demeanor is much more relaxed and laid back. I used to be a rusher, not just in a situation like this, but all the time. It’s no fun, very unproductive, and the stress is very detrimental to your health, both physically and mentally. Life is not meant to be lived that way.

Just go with the flow. You’ll get there when you get there.

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