Frequently Asked Questions, Comments and Answers

Posted by January Harshe on June 5, 2009

OK, I am still here.  I was kinda not in a good mood after last weekend and thought I wasn’t going to post again until the baby arrived.  However, I think this post is worth it.

Disclaimer:  This is a very feisty post. If you are easily offended, skip it.

Being a 9 month pregnant women, you are subject to many questions and comments.  People just do NOT get it.  On top of that, being a mama who is having an open unassisted pregnancy and birth…well, I’ll just let you use your imagination because right now I might not be so nice.

So, let’s begin:

“You are still pregnant?”

Really?  No freakin’ way.  I totally didn’t realize.  Come on guys…if you see the huge belly and no baby in my arms, do you really need to ask or point it out?

The infamous…“When are you due?”

Now, this one is fun for me.  I have been telling people, “In June” and leaving it at that.  So, for all of those who really want to know I am “due” June 7th.  Now, due for what, I don’t know.  My response is going to be, “Yesterday” (or however long ago it was).  Then I follow up with, “But I always go late”. That seems to reassure people and is easier then me getting into a long drawn out explanation and education series on how ‘due dates’ are a bunch of CRAP!

Followed up by…“They must have gotten your dates wrong” or “I think they got your dates wrong”

First of all, who the heck is they and why do they have a say?  No, we were not wrong about our due dates.  They are based off your last menstrual period.  We were trying to get pregnant, so we know within the week.  However (and I’m not going to go into details of all the ways due dates can be wrong), I could ovulate late.  So, yes, there is a little grace period even with me knowing.

I will tell you this (and you nosy, gossipy people will like it b/c it’s totally too much information), I know without a doubt this time when my ‘due date’ is because it is based off my actual ovulation date.  And since they weren’t in my living room when my husband and I were conceiving, then they don’t know what they are talking about and I do (because I was there!)

Oh, and even still, I’m not a ticking bomb.  I am growing a baby.  This baby has it’s own ‘due date’ and only he/she and Heavenly Father know it.

“So, when do you think you’ll have the baby”.

“When do you think I’ll have the baby?”  “I don’t know, when he or she is ready”.  Wow, what a concept.

“What are you going to do with your other kids when you are in labor?”

We have a closet with a lock.  No, seriously though, we don’t know.  If they are resting/sleeping then we’ll leave them be.  If they are awake, well heck, they live here too!  This is their home, their baby sister/brother and honestly, they want to be here.  So, we’ll see and let you know after.  K?

“Are you ready to pop this kid out?”

I think if someone asks this again I might just pop them.  Of course I am ready, but this is not about me.  This is about my baby.  It is the baby’s birth, not mine.  This isn’t going to happen until he/she is ready, not when I’m ready!

“Are you worried/anxious”

As much as any other (almost) 40 week pregnant woman.  I’m not an alien.  Actually I would be more worried if I were having a hospital birth.  Yes, I know things can happen.  But, they can happen anywhere and it’s been my experience that more ‘bad’ things happen in the hospital then out of one.

“Do you have a back up plan”

“Yes, I do live only 5 minutes from a hospital.  And that is what they are for…emergencies”.  If everything is normal, I don’t need to be in one.  If something is wrong, then I do. Just because I don’t choose to start out in one (because I think birth is normal and safe), doesn’t mean I’m going to stay home at all costs.  Geesh.

Moving on…

Now, the stares really get me.  All the people in real life who know me and just stare.  They are comfortable talking about it behind my back, but not to ME!  Blows my mind.  Hello!!! I am blogging about it.  You can talk to me.

Maybe people don’t know what to ask when the regular questions don’t apply to an unassisted birth.  For example, “Who is your doctor?”  “Which hospital are you delivering at?”  “Will you get induced if you go past your ‘due date’?” “Are you getting an epidural, episiotomy, internal monitoring, and slip in any other hundreds of interventions”.

However, because I am so ‘different’ why not ask different questions?    If you are just too uncomfortable or worried because of your own fears of childbirth, then you can just keep reading the blog, staring, whispering and praying.  I do appreciate the prayers at least.

I am here, I am pregnant and I am faithful.  I am looking forward to and excited about a great home birth.  I am not crazy, just educated and opinionated about what happens to my body and my baby.  I adore my family.  I have a stronger relationship with the Lord because of this journey.  Does that make it easy and perfect?  No.  It makes my journey full of growth, excitement and fulfillment. I’ll take it!

If I didn’t answer a question or address something, by all means, ask away in the comments (at your own risk)!

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Related Articles

• Affirming the Truth
• Why Unassisted Pregnancy And Childbirth This Time Around?
• My Body and Mind Prepare for an Unassisted Birth
• Anxiety Of An Upcoming Birth
• Why We Are Choosing To Have An Unassisted Pregnancy And Childbirth